Time

31;

A/N;

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. . .

The time Esther came along.

The second Esther finished her exams and was on break from university I flew her straight out to me. I'm sure Nathan wasn't happy about it, but I didn't particularly care. I wanted her with me.

After her blip in March I was a lot more aware than ever of Esther's wellbeing. It's August now, and she's been a lot better and happier, I guess we all go through rough times.

"Where are we today?" Esther asks yawning, we had all just woken up. Esther sat beside me at the tour bus dining table as we drive en route to the stadium.

"Philadelphia," Niall answers in an American accent.

She yawns again and I wrap an arm around her. "Tired?"

She nods leaning into my shoulder. "I am, some idiot made me stay up and play on dumb segways,"

Niall groans. "They are not dumb! You just didn't win in races because you kept falling off. And because you can't do it."

Esther scrunched her face at him whilst he flicks some old pieces of toast at her. It was true, Niall and Esther were really competitive about the segways, and whenever they raced it always ended in arguments.

. .

Walking into the stadium, Esther gasped along with Sophia, we were slowly but surely getting used to it, but for Esther especially, it was like a whole new world.

"This place is huge, H."

"I know, it is, isn't it?"

"How do you even.." Esther walked onto the stage and spun around, I took a picture of her with her arms spread out and smiled, saving it to my phone. "This place is enormous how do you have the guts to perform here?"

"Thanks for the confidence boost,"

She laughs walking over and hugging me. "I don't mean it like that I just mean.. You're so brave doing it,"

"I love it, so that's why I do it."

She shakes her head looking out and I wanted to take another photo of her, just to capture her simple smile and how the light catches her eyes.

"One day, I'll be brave enough." She jokes.

. . . .

The show went amazingly well, I'd noticed that I myself was happier on stage as well as off, now that Esther was with me. I would dance around and squirt water, I interacted and made jokes. I was happy, and it was all because of Esther.

"You're making a mistake." Zayn mutters as we both stand and watch Esther with Lou and Lux. She had Lux on her hip swaying side to side as if it was her natural instinct to do so, and she was talking and laughing with Lou about something.

Zayn and I were backstage resting, waiting for our tour bus to pick us up and take us to a hotel, we were performing yet again in Philadelphia tomorrow.

"What?"

"The more you keep her around, the more in love you'll be."

I shake my head and Zayn sighs.

"So what do you say? I cut ties with her?"

Zayn shrugs. "I can't tell you what to do, but by not telling her that you love her, you're hurting yourself and for what?"

"She's my best friend, she doesn't see me or us that way."

"But why can't you just tell her anyway? Regardless of how she feels,"

"Because it could make it worse,"

"Swings and roundabouts isn't it?" Zayn laughs.

I smile back but it wasn't genuine.

"Look, Harry.. Whatever you do, you've got to tell her. Come on, it's Esther."

I swallow, I know he's right but I can't even imagine what it would be like to say 'hey look Es, I'm hopelessly in love with you.'

"I'll think about it,"

"Like you haven't already, it's not hard Haz. Just do it." Zayn walks off muttering 'I need a smoke', leaving me alone to sit and think about how I will probably never, ever tell Esther how in love with her I truly am.

. . . .

At the hotel, I sit on my balcony along with Esther who had taken about fifty thousand photos of the scenery, "it's so pretty shut up and let me take my photos," she had told me when I laughed at her.

"I'm not tired anymore." Esther sighs happily as she sits beside me on the balcony sofa.

"Me either,"

She looks over with a frown. "You've been quiet, sup?"

I shrug. "I just get those days," I white lie.

"Tell me, what's up, what's bothering you. I know you like to hide things until they build up."

Boy does she know me.

"It's just.. I can't.. I don't.. I don't know how I can explain it, it's a difficult situation.. I don't think you'd understand."

Esther sits back as if she's stunned by my answer. "You don't think I'd understand?" She asks quietly. She looks hurt and that's the last thing I wanted.

"Not you personally, I don't understand it myself."

"Oh,"

"Es, I.."

She raises her eyebrow.

"I don't really understand myself sometimes, I think and feel and I just.. I'm not making much sense." I sigh.

"It's okay, when you want to explain you can, I won't force you into it."

I smile, taking her hand. Feeling her hold my hand too made me feel a hell of a lot better. It wasn't cold anymore, and it wasn't lifeless.

"Nathan isn't happy," Esther randomly admits as she looks out onto the skyline. "He won't talk to me,"

"Because you flew out?"

She nods. "He thinks I'm selfish. That I have no awareness for other people's feelings,"

"I guess he doesn't know you that well, then."

She looks over at me and smiles before looking back out. "I guess,"

"He shouldn't make you feel guilty for seeing your best friend, Es."

"Who said I feel guilty?" She chuckles. "He's just jealous, but it's okay. If they're jealous, they care. Right?"

I nod. "Right," I whisper.

"He goes on holiday soon, he's asked me to go too. It's with his family so I'm kind of uneasy about it all."

"Then don't, stay here. With me." Although it sounded like a joke, I was completely serious.

"I don't know," She sighs leaning her head against my shoulder. "Don't want to really think about it now."

"Okay," I wrap my arm around her and kiss her hair smelling her oh-so familiar shampoo, and even though we were thousands of miles away from England, being here with Esther still felt like home.