Time

32;

The time Esther got engaged.

January is supposedly the worst month of the year, according to some scientist. I was slightly on board with that fact today.

First of all I started 2015 Esther-less.

She had gone away with Nathan and his family for New Years, it did bother me as we did argue but her excuse was 'I spent two months with you in the summer, we don't need this New Years together too' which I wasn't happy with but I agreed with anyway, I knew Nathan had booked the holiday purposely. Everything he does has a reason behind it.

But when Esther basically begged for us to meet up the second she landed back, I knew something was up. She was excited and so happy I thought she was going to burst on the phone so god knows what she's going to be like in person.

I walked with my head low towards the brunch place we had arranged. I told Esther it would be better to do dinner but she said she couldn't wait that long as I was the first person she wanted to tell so I went for brunch instead. I saw paps across the street taking photos but I was clear at the moment for fans.

Inside, Esther was already waiting. The second she saw me she grinned and held her arms out for me, I hugged her tight and sat down across from her. "You alright? You look like you're about to implode."

She laughs. "I feel like it,"

I order my food, Esther already did because she was too excited.

"So please," I sip my green smoothie. "Tell me this exciting news you're just dying to tell me."

Esther's entire face lights up and I don't think I've ever seen it so bright before. She flips her left hand up and points to her ring finger.

There sitting on it, was a diamond incrusted silver ring.

Have you ever experienced a pain so deep it makes you feel nothing and everything all at the same time? Your heart turns numb and your tongue weak. I felt paralyzed, as if someone had taken every piece from me.

"You," I lick my lips and try to remember words and blinking and how to breathe but I couldn't, I had forgotten how to do everything.

Esther's face slowly starts to fall and I try to savor it, but I can't, I can't get out of this. The rooms shrinking, the hole I'm in is filling with sand.

"Oh," Esther looks away. "I was expecting more of a reaction, H."

"You're engaged? ..to Nathan?"

She nods with a small smile. "You're not happy?"

I wanted to get out, Zayn was right, I can't do this. I need out.

"You're 20, Es."

She looks down. "We aren't getting married tomorrow, we're engaged, which means we're going to get married at some point-"

"I know what it means," I interrupt. "And I'm saying you're 20 years old, how the hell can you say you want to marry him when you don't-" I cut myself off.

I couldn't do this.

"I don't what?" All traces of happiness were gone now, and she was fully sobered up from her joyous state.

"You don't seriously think Nathan is the one, do you?"

"I love him, Harry. I want to marry him, and I will marry him."

I shake my head.

"You're my best friend, you're supposed to support me-"

"And I do support you, I don't support you marrying him."