Letters to Italy

34. good news

August 18, 2017

Carlotta and Jonas were in Belgium. To celebrate the good news. For some people it was very difficult to accept but in the end, everyone was happy for them. But there was one person who suddenly felt jealous again. Me. My brother and his Italian Carlotta were in Belgium to tell us the good news they were going to marry. So for some people it really was possible, moving to another country and marrying someone there. Unfortunately I didn't belong to that group of lucky ones. But I was very happy for Jonas. He lived his dream.

"So... a wedding! That went fast!" I said. Jonas was only 24 yet and Carlotta was only 21. Very young to marry. But the moment he was going to marry Carlotta, he would be a year older again. Carlotta would be 22 and he 25. I couldn't imagine marrying that early. I probably was going to stay alone forever. The day they were going to marry, I would still be 23, what I was now. So it wasn't possible anymore to marry someone at the same age of Carlotta. But actually that never was my goal in life, marrying someone in my early twenties. But I hoped I would be married when I was 30 or so. Otherwise my life would be a failure.

A few weeks later we already received the invitation for the wedding. April 13 2018, that was going to be the memorable day. But it was a Friday. He couldn't have chosen a better day of course. Typical for my brother. But it meant luck for him. He liked to do things different from the rest. So for him a Friday the 13th meant luck, luck and another portion of luck. He was blessed with a girl that immediately agreed with that strange idea of him. I truly believed they were going to stay together until the end. The end..."Everything's gonna be alright. In the end we will be together. Forever! Till the very end!" I still hear Gianluca say that to me like it was yesterday. And there was still a little sparkle of hope inside me that he might be right. He still was the only person I wanted to marry. No one else could make me feel like that again. So he still was my only hope. But I let him go and it's better to not go back.

"I hope you know Gianluca and the rest from Il Volo are also invited for the wedding?" Jonas said one day. I had completely forgotten about that. It was not because Gianluca wasn't really a part of my life anymore, he wasn't friends with my brother anymore.

"Oh...eh..."

"If you really don't want it, I can explain them and ask them not to come!" he said. But I didn't want that. It was his wedding, not mine. He had to choose who was invited. I didn't want to change that. And if I didn't want to see them, I could stay home too.

"No, it's okay. It'll be weird and difficult, but I think I'm ready for it. I'll probably be happy to see him again!" I said, not entirely sure about that. Jonas seemed very relieved I said that. They probably became better friends over the past years. Very understandable of course, I also liked them all. There was no one better on the planet then them, Il Volo and my brother, my sister was nice too of course. And in the end I liked my family too. But I had to admit, the persons I ever loved the most in my entire life were my brother and Gianluca.

"So, can you give any details already?" I asked, to change the conversation from serious to happy again.

"Well, it'll be in Italy on the 13th of April", he said.

"I already knew that!" I said while faking I was sad.

"There's one thing you should know actually." He said it very serious again.

"Tell me!"

"We're going to ask Il Volo to sing. In the church and probably also at the reception and because we like them so much, we hope they want to sing some songs at the evening party too. I wanted to know if you're okay with that."

"Of course, it's your wedding. You should ask the permission to your fiancée, not to your little sister", I laughed but it was actually a lot for me. After almost three years not seeing him again, I will have to look at them and listen to them for almost the whole day of the wedding. Plus I probably had to talk to him again. I wanted to talk to him, of course. So I think I would be more nervous because all of that instead of the real reason why I am there, the wedding from my big brother. But it were still 8 months. Perhaps everything would be easier after some more time again. We'll see.