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Lea became extra nice to me when Nani went away. She would call every day to make sure I was okay. Whenever I had a doctor's appointment she would call a car service to pick me up. Lea took care of me like she was my mom & I thought that was the sweetest thing. Neither Nani or her mother felt comfortable with me being in the house on my own. So every other day or so, Nani's assistants Cortez & Bailey would come check on me. Sometimes they would come together, other times they'd take turns. It was like they were my babysitters, except they were really cool.
The boys would bring me food or anything else I needed. Once I got really sick & I had the shakes. Cortez took care of me until I was better. Nani must be paying these guys a hell of a lot if they're willing to do this much for her.

When I was 6 & 1/2 months I found out I was having a girl. Nani was so happy when I told her. She gloated about how she knew it all along. I really just think it was a lucky guess. Nani called me from rehab every single day. I missed that girl so much. Nobody really supported me staying with her so they didn't understand my minor depression. I was feeling so down because she wasn't here with me. She would miss basically my whole pregnancy. I just hoped she got back before I had the baby, I don't want Nani missing that.

"When's your next check up, baby?" Nani questioned.
"At 8 months, babe. I told you that already," I replied.
"Ugh, I wish I could rub your belly again. I miss that shit,"
"Girl, who you telling? You used to put me right to sleep when you rubbed me like that. Now I can barely sleep."
"Why? Whats the matter?"
"Everything, Nani."

I could hear her sigh in the background.
"Talk to me, mama." Nani insisted.
"I miss you, girl. This wasn't supposed to be like this. We were supposed share all these moments together." I replied.
"Thats my fault, I'm sorry Mac. You know I wanted to be there,"
"I'm sorry too. You should've been able to come to me to talk. But I would hit you & kick you around all the time."
"I deserved it for everything I put you through,"
"Nobody deserves to be beaten. Especially not you."

Nani laughed, like she was flattered or something.
"Well I have to go to my therapy session, I'll see about you later tonight." Nani explained.
"Okay, I miss you. I love you," I whined.
"I love you too,"

Coincidentally the buzzer sounded as I hung up with her. I checked the cameras & saw Cortez waiting at the gate. Ugh, he was just here this morning. What did he want now? I buzzed him in & awaited his arrival through the front door. He came barring food, it smelled so good. Lord knows my fat ass would devour every crumb.
"You brought me more food? I just made you get me breakfast," I remarked.
"I was getting food so I bought you some too, is that a problem?" Cortez questioned.
"Of course not, I was just saying."

He laughed at my gluttony but I wasn't ashamed.
"I got you a burger, large fries, a large root beer & 2 apple pies." Cortez said.
"Oh my God, you're an angel." I praised him.
"You really have an appetite that big?"
"Yeah ever since I hit 5 months I've been eating like a pig."
"Hm, mind if I eat here with you? I'm starving."
"Sure, come sit."

Cortez sat across from me at the breakfast table. I changed the channel to wrestling because I knew Cortez wouldn't want to watch any of my girly reality shows.
"Have you spoken to Puanani?" Cortez asks.
"I just got off the phone with her." I replied.
"How is she doing?"
"She sounds more clear minded & she sounds happier than she was before."
"I knew this thing was gonna go bad. When I found out I should've tried harder to stop her."
"Look man, she almost died before she realized she needed to quit. You nor I could've said anything to her to change her mind about the drugs." I explained.
"It was just really fucked up to see her in a hospital bed on methadone treatments. You know? I've known her since she was really young." Cortez replied.

Believe me, I understood where he was coming from but I guess I was more accustomed to fucked up shit going on around me. Accepting Nani's situation for what it was, helped me cope at first. But then she left & I was just so lonely. Not being able to kiss her everyday, not being able to make love to her, it was depressing. All I ever wanted to do was love that girl.
"Did you ever try to get with her?" I asked, giggling.
"No, I was too scared of her dad. But trust me I was looking at her for a while." Cortez replied.
"She's fucking hot, right? Sometimes I wonder what I did to be so lucky."
"She is beautiful. All my homeboys are jealous because my boss is so hot."
"Do they ever ask you to hook them up?"
"All the time. Thats probably the number one text message I get."

As much as I tried not to, I couldn't help but laugh. I felt good that my girl was so beautiful but it was hilarious to me how boys threw themselves at her.
"So hows your family? Are any of them gonna come when you give birth?" Cortez questioned.
"Ugh, none of them are even speaking to me right now." I replied.
"For what reason?"
"They fuckin' hate Nani, so because I'm with her they not really fuckin' with me."
"Who could hate Nani? She's poppin',"
"She was cheating on me for a while & then she started doing drugs, when they found out all that shit they were so done."
"She was cheating on you? Damn, I never would've guessed."
"What do you mean?" I questioned.
"The way she talks about you? She sounds so in love, she doesn't sound like someone who wants to cheat, or needs to cheat." Cortez explained.
"She talks about me?"
"Every time I was with Nani, I was hearing about you. She went to Ohio & came back another person. She's never acted this way for a girl before."

Damn, what kind of player was she before, if thats who she turned into? But I mean, Nani wasn't that bad, I've dated worse. There were just so many good things she brought into my life that the bad stuff almost didn't matter. Nani gave my life purpose. When she came into the picture, everything just seemed to get better.
"I love her so much man, I really want her to get better." I remarked.
"She will, she'll be fine." Cortez assured me.

I prayed that God was giving Nani another chance at life so that we could be together for real. I so badly wanted Nani to raise this baby with me, I wanted to be with Nani forever. After seeing the way she made me feel, I never wanted to start over with anyone else. Nani was all I wanted & needed. Nobody else would fill her place in my heart.

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