My Childhood Sweetheart's Brother

Part 19: Catch Up

Not once, have I looked at him. I avoided any eye or speech contact with Caleb ever since last night. In the morning I waited till last minute before the coach came to thank the Gutte family and say bye to them before running onto the coach to avoid any conversation with Caleb. In the airport I made sure I was at least 10 metres away from him and on the flight I sat between Grace and Bella so that he couldn't even see me. It was bitchy, I know, but I felt guilty and I was scared that if I just spoke to him or even looked at him, he would be able to see it.

My best friends noticed instantly that I was off but I couldn't tell them on the plane so I asked them to meet up later that evening for a 'catch up'.

After dinner I quickly took a shower, slipped on a dark grey turtle neck, a pair of high waisted mid washed rolled jeans with rips on both knees, a pair of brown suede chunky small heeled lace up ankle boots and a khaki long jacket. With a quick look in the mirror I ran out the door and made my way to our usual cafe.

"Okay what's wrong Abbie?" Grace asked as we got our coffees and sat down. "You've been off all day, barely said a word all flight."

"Yeah, I thought you and Dan sorted it out." Bella added.

I nodded. "That's because we did. But this isn't about Dan."

"Caleb?" Grace asked. I nodded. "You guys fought?"

"Er, worse than that--"

"He hit you-"

"NO!" That was way too defensive Abbie. I cleared my throat. "No, he wouldn't do that."

"Then what?" Bella demanded. "You're worrying us."

I shook my head. "I can't say it."

"Why?" Grace gasped. "Oh my God. Oh my God you didn't--"

"No, I didn't." I confirmed.

"Then--"

"Grace," Bella spoke, looking straight at me. "They didn't sleep together but, they did kiss." I looked away from guilt and shame. Bella knew me all too well.

"Oh my God, you kissed Caleb?" Grace exclaimed.

I shook my head. "No, no I didn't actually kiss him."

"So you nearly did?"

I sighed, with a nod. "I don't know how it happened."

"Yeah you do." Grace pressed. "How did it happen."

"We were sitting on the stairs outside our home and I decided to go inside, it was getting late. Caleb was being childish and pinched the back of my knee--"

"And you ended up falling into his arms?" Bella teased.

"Quite literally." I told her. "We kind of locked eyes and then he started to in and..."

"And what? What happened?" Grace questioned.

"I screamed when I fell, Madame Gutte woke up and turned the lights on outside. I got up and ran upstairs. That's it." I explained.

"Then why do you feel so guilty?" Bella asked.

"Why do you think?" I remarked.

Bella nodded understandingly. "Because you didn't move away."

"Abbie, did you want that kiss?" Grace asked.

"I don't know." I confessed. "How awful is that? I'm in a five year relationship with a boy I love with my whole heart but I wanted to kiss his brother."

"Abbie, you're not a bad person. That happens." Bella reassured.

"Does it really?" I asked sarcastically.
Bella rolled her eyes. "I've been with Connor for two years and when I see a hot guy I still wonder what it'd be like to kiss or even have sex with him. You've been with Dan for 5 years, I don't blame you for being excited by something new."

"And Connor--"

"Oh he has no clue." Bella laughed. "But I'm sure he does the same when he sees hot girls. It's nature."

I sighed, feeling slightly relieved. Maybe that's all it was, excitement of something new. After all, 5 years is a long time to be in a relationship at our age.

"I feel so guilty, almost as if I betrayed  Dan." I told them.

"You haven't though." Grace pointed out. "Nothing happened."

"And if nothing happened, there's nothing that Dan needs to know about." Bella smiled.

I shook my head with a slight laugh. "Your logic is amazing."

"Bella's right though." Grace agreed. "Look Abbie, if you kissed Caleb, then maybe you would have a reason to feel guilty--"

"Maybe?" I asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Well it depends on your personality. If you were a top bitch then--"

"I'm not." I laughed

"True." Grace chuckled. "Anyway, nothing happened. You've got nothing to be scared of, nothing to feel guilty about, you're a perfectly loyal girlfriend."

I smiled, and it felt like out of relief. "Thanks guys, I actually feel better about this whole thing."

"You do realise there's another problem right?" Bella asked.

I nodded. "Caleb."

"Precisely. How are you going to ask him--"

"Ask him?" I interrupted Bella. "No, I'm not asking him anything."

"Abbie, you need to know what that was about." Grace said.

I shook my head. "I'd rather just leave it."

"You can't leave it!" Bella exclaimed.

"Yeah I can, and I will." I reassured.

"Abbie, you need to know whether Caleb did that in the heat of the moment or whether he actually feels something for you."

"Oh I know." I told her.
"You do?"

"Yeah, it was in the heat of the moment."

"How can you be sure?"

"Because it's Caleb Spears!" I pointed out.

Grace shook her head. "That's not an argument."

"Yeah it is." I argued.

"Abbie stop." Bella said sternly. "You have no idea why Caleb did what he did."

I shook my head. "He doesn't have feelings for me."

"You can't be sure of that." Grace told me.

"I can and I am." I argued, grabbing my bag and getting up. "Thanks guys, I love you and I feel much better, but eh, I just got a text from mum that she wants me home."

"No she didn't." Bella shook her head.

"Yeah, sorry did I say my mum? I meant my dad." I lied, giving them a quick hug and rushing out the cafe.

After speaking to my friends I felt better, a lot actually, but now, now I couldn't help but wonder what caused Caleb to do what he did.

Could it be possible that Caleb tried kissing me because he had feelings-- no, no it couldn't, could it?