My Childhood Sweetheart's Brother

Part 40: I Love You

It had been three weeks since my awful eighteenth. Caleb still hadn't woken up, and my life was no where near getting any better. In fact, I was now pretty much failing all my subjects, and conflicts between me and every important person in my life were now happening more often than ever.

I felt like shit. That was the only way to describe it. I also felt like I was a shit person, blocking everyone who cared about me from my life and rejecting any help that was offered to me.

I had to change my life, here and now. The first step was to visit my grand parents after months of no contact. My grandparents welcomed me with open arms and took both Holly and I out for a meal, dessert before taking us home to watch a movie all together.

"You're trying too hard." My grandmother told me with a slight smile as she took the popcorn out of the cupboard.

"What do you mean?"

"You're trying to be happy and pretend like nothing's wrong." She said, still not looking up at me, preparing the food. "You're going about it the wrong way."

I sighed. "I don't know how to go about it."

"You've cried it out, you've talked it out and it's not helping. I get that sweetheart, but all I'm saying is pretending it never happened won't help you get over it." My grandmother looked up at me. "At the end of the day, after putting on a brave smile and joking around, you're going to come back home and take off that mask and realise that there is in fact a person missing from your life."

"I don't want to." I told her. "I don't want that to be all I think about nan. I love him but I can't let that control my life."

A soft, warming smile appeared on her face. "Love does funny things to us deary, and unfortunately, a heart in love can not be tamed."

"Is this what'll be like forever then?" I asked.

My grandmothers eyebrows shot up suspiciously. "Abbie you sound like you're losing hope."

I was.

"I'm not."

"Then no." She said. "When he wakes up it'll all fall back into place. And you'll get your happily ever after."

"How can you be so sure nan?"

"I've told you in the past sweetheart, my relationship with your grandad wasn't exactly a piece of cake." She reminded me. "I fell in love when I was only a year or two older than you. I was engaged to a banker, wealthy man who by the age of 22 had already inherited a great mention in the country, where we planned to have our wedding and then settle down with 3 kids and a dog."

I giggled to myself knowing how different her life turned out to be.

"Then I met Ronald, your grandpa of course." I saw the spark in her eye and felt fascinated that after so many years, it was still there, still going strong. "We met at the bakery and fell in love instantly. Abbie, I thought I knew what love is, I thought I loved Philip, my fiancé, until I met your grandpa. That feeling was something else. Something remarkable."

"I know." I smiled through my deep breath.

"After a few secret dates, I told my mother that I couldn't stay with Philip that I loved Ronald. She laughed in my face saying I was young and didn't know what I wanted." My grandmother smiled, but it was sad. "A year later, I had my wedding, but it wasn't with Philip."

"It was with grandpa." I smiled.

She nodded. "That was the day my family disowned me, and I created a family of my own that hopefully loves me for who I am."