Ashton's Point Of View
''So, this is where it's supposed to be right?'' Calum asks me to double check. We're in front of a building and it looks like it's pretty crowded with people our age. ''Are you sure?'' Michael asks again. ''Yeah, this is it guys.'' I repeat for like the hundredth time now. ''But it's so crowded.'' Luke says, almost surprised. ''That's because apparently there are a lot of people our age, that want to have a nice night out.'' I sigh, they act like I know everything, but I don't. ''Just accept it, okay?'' They all nod like schoolboys that just got lectured, wow. ''Well, shall we head in?'' Michael asks after we've been staring at the door for another minute. ''Great idea.'' I say, and open the door in front of me. ''I hope we don't get recognized.'' I hear Luke say just before the sound of his voice fades away in the loud noises coming from the space in front of me. ''Holy-'' I can't even finish my sentence because I get interrupted by the loud music. ''How in earth do all these people including us fit in here?'' Calum asks, while raising his voice. ''I don't know.'' Luke says, a bit flabbergasted. ''You don't know shit.'' Michael scoffs. ''Michael! Don't act like a jerk.'' I tell him before turning around again and deciding to go to the bar.
''Who's with me?'' I ask. When I get ignored I turn around and see that they all disappeared. Great, just great. It's always nice to have friends on who you can always rely in every situation, note the sarcasm. ''Well, I guess I'm going on my own then.'' I huff before pushing myself through the crowd to get to the bar. It seems like minutes have passed before I finally reach it and order a beer. As I look around me I see many, many people, a lot of them are girls. I haven't seen one that stood out for me though, which is really unusual for me. I guess that I've changed a lot these past months, tour changed me. I had a girlfriend before we started touring like a band, but we broke up because she couldn't deal with me being away all the time. I feel like that's something I will really need in a girl, she has to be able to live without me when I'm not there. I mean, my band is my life at the moment, and of course I'm okay with letting a girl into my life, but the thing is that the band will always be a huge part of me, and she just has to accept that. Tour has changed me because I haven't been thinking about girls as much as I used to do, they never really cross my mind anymore. No, it doesn't mean I'm suddenly into guys, because I'm not. I just seem to have lost my interest in finding a girlfriend, finding a girl with whom I can grow old, and have kids. I'm always like, when the time's right, I will find the perfect girl. But something's changed since I've arrived here, I keep thinking: But what if I won't? What if I will never get a girlfriend because I didn't go looking for one? The thought of being alone for the rest of my life scares me. Of course I still have the guys, and of course I still have my family, but I feel like you really need someone to fall in love with in your life.
I'm desperate for loving someone again, being in love is one of the best feelings in the world. I want to be able to hold someone, and fall asleep next to that person. I don't know where that feeling comes from, it's like it just randomly hit me. It was like someone told me: Ashton, go out there, and find yourself a beautiful girl, a girl to spend the rest of your days with. If you keep waiting, she will never come, and you will be alone for the rest of your life. And I don't want that, I don't want to be alone, I've just decided that. And until then I'll keep wondering what changed my mind about that, what did trigger my inner self to get up and try my best?
''Uhm, excuse me?'' I feel a soft tap on my shoulder and I look up. A girl with dirtyblonde hair and two big blue eyes looks at me. ''Yeah?'' I ask. ''Well, are you here by yourself?'' She seductively asks me, and I feel knots in my stomach, oh god, where is this going? ''No, I'm here with my friends.'' I tell her. ''So no girlfriend?'' She asks me with that same voice again. ''No girlfriend.'' I repeat. ''Hm.'' She says before pushing her blonde hair back and pouting her lip. ''Would you mind buying me a drink? I left my wallet at home.'' She says, and I'm a bit confused right now. Is this an attempt to flirting? Or did she really forget her wallet. ''Excuse me, do I know you?'' I ask her, just in case, she knew I wasn't German. ''Not yet.'' She says with a smirk. ''But I can tell you my name since you'll be screaming it tonight.'' Ew, okay no. ''No, I think I'm not interested.'' I say with a small smile before turning away again. Why did those idiots have to leave me? I have no idea where they are, and I'm starting to get sick of spending this night on my own, sunken into my own thoughts. Where are they, where are they? I keep repeating it in my head, hoping that I will suddenly see them and join them. But unfortunately, the odds aren't in my favor tonight, and they're nowhere to be seen. Where could they have gone in such a short amount of time? One moment I was talking to them, and the other moment all three of them were gone. Then I suddenly see a small bit of blonde quiff, and the two blue eyes that belong to that person as well. ''Luke!'' I quickly say, before he's gone again. ''Oh there you are Ashton. Where were you?'' He asks me when he reaches me. ''You're asking me? You were the three who got away without telling me.'' I scoff.
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Caught In Snowflakes {Slow Updates}
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