Break My Promise (OHSHC/Kaoru Love Story)

Chapter 31

I was going crazy. I didn't know what to do with myself anymore. I was always being bugged by this feeling of urgency. The worst thing was that I knew exactly what it was for, and I hated it. That always happened when I had a crush on someone. Or more than a crush. I still didn't know how extreme my feelings were.

I waited a month for something to happen. For the feeling to leave me or for Kaoru to do something to make me hate him. For him to say something about our almost-kiss. Nothing, though. He went on like it never happened, and I was distraught inside. There was just too much stress added with finally realizing my feelings. I couldn't figure out if I had rather never discovered them or not. Why wasn't he saying anything? Why couldn't I get over him? I swore it had to be the worst timing.

On top of that, I heard finalists had been getting calls for the past two weeks about who had received or lost the scholarship. They were asked to keep it a secret so the surprise wouldn't be spoiled. I hadn't been called, yet. I had no idea if I was the chosen person or one of the rejects, and it only made my anxiety worse. Knowing me, I realized I was at my stress limit. One of them needed to leave, and from what I could tell, my liking Kaoru was only getting stronger since I had recognized it.

I just wanted him to say something to me about it. Whether he said it was a mistake or he wished we really had kissed, I didn't care. I needed to know what he was thinking. I always have to know what's going on in someone's head, or I'll go mad. Especially on something like that.

This is childish, I thought to myself as I stood outside my classroom building. I couldn't wait anymore, though. I was at my limit. I had to know, or I would never relax again. I couldn't deal with the stress any longer. Plus, I just couldn't find it in myself to go up to him and do it. I was too nervous.

I was leaning against the brick wall, staring at the overhang shading me. It was almost time. He would be there any minute. I kept taking deep breaths, trying to calm my racing heart. It was useless. I knew the only ways to get myself to calm down, and for once, I didn't feel like hearing myself talk. I couldn't find a way to get my mind off the inevitable. I had to wait it out.

I heard something and looked straight ahead. One of the twins appeared from behind the columns in front of me, and I straightened up. "You wanted to see me, Azami?" he asked.

He may have sounded like him and had his hair parted right, but... "Hikaru? What are you doing here?" I asked, my eyebrows coming together.

Hikaru's eyes widened, but then he laughed and said as he fixed his part back, sounding like himself, "Well, that didn't take long. I thought maybe I was going to fool you this time." He put his hands in his pockets and took a few steps towards me.

"Come on, you know that'll never happen. Seriously, though, how come you're here instead?" I wondered. He pulled a tiny slip of paper out of his pocket. I blushed a little when seeing it once more.

He told me, "Sorry, but you put this on my desk by accident. You must have gotten them mixed up." I frowned. I told Haruhi what I was doing, and she told me which desk was which. Had they decided to switch them that day for some reason? "I knew who it was meant for, though. I mean, you wrote, 'break my promise,' on it instead of signing your name. It wasn't too hard to figure out." He stepped closer to me.

I said, "I'm sorry, I still don't understand. If you knew I meant it for Kaoru, why didn't you give it to him? Why would you come instead?" My eyes widened slightly at how close he was to me. I swallowed hard.

Hikaru apologized, "I'm sorry, Azami. He doesn't feel the same way about you. The truth is, he has his eye on another girl."

I looked down at the red bricks beneath my feet and swallowed hard. "Oh. I see," I said in a quiet voice. I should have known better. He was a Host, in the end. He could have had any girl he wanted. Why would he have wanted me?