Vegas, Baby (Jerrie Fanfiction)

The Truth Comes Out

"Okay, what?" Jesy asked and looked back and forth from Perrie and Jade. "You're, like, really in love with Perrie? It wasn't a joke to you at all?"

"I mean," Jade tried to say but then the words got stuck in her throat and she looked between the three of them. "I-I don't know! I don't remember our wedding." She kind of hated herself when she felt tears sting in her eyes because it was fucking ridiculous that she was freaking crying now. "I don't remember what I said or did that night."

"You told me you loved me," Perrie murmured and frowned a little. When Jade finally managed to look at her she noticed that there were tears in the blonde's eyes as well. "That you'd always been in love with me, that you never loved Sam, that you'd always wanted to be with me. You wanted to get married and I went along with it because I thought you meant it as a joke. I didn't realise you meant it."

Jade took a deep breath, albeit shaky, and then wiped her hands over her eyes. "I... I'm sorry, I don't – I don't remember."

"But did you mean it?" Perrie asked her and Jade looked to Jesy and Leigh-Anne for help but they seemed at a loss for words just as much as her. How on earth was she going to get out of this now?

Taking another deep but shaky breathy Jade shrugged. "I... I don't know. I'm really in love with you. I admit it. I love when you kiss me and when you touch me and when you... whatever. But I didn't... I only realised when all of this happened." She waved her arms around wildly to demonstrate the chaos that had happened around them since they had gotten married. "Maybe my drunk self realised it before me. But I didn't realise it until... until you kissed me for the first time, in front of everyone."

Perrie raised her eyebrows in surprise. "Wow."

"What?" Jade asked and frowned. "What – what does this mean? For you and I?"

Perrie bit her lip, "I'm sorry. I didn't realise you were so serious about this."

Blinking quickly the brunette tried to keep her tears from her eyes as she stared at the younger female in front of her. "What does that mean?"

"I'm really sorry," Perrie told her and pressed her hands to her chest, her expression full of pity. "I'm not ready to be in a real relationship. All I wanted was fun and I said that from the beginning." She shook her head sympathetically and reached out for Jade, "Please don't be mad."

But Jade pulled her hand away, feeling her heart break into a million pieces and the shards cutting her open from inside. "Every time I tried to talk about it you said, 'let's just have fun, don't worry about tomorrow.' I tried to talk about it so often but you never let me, you never wanted to hear it."

Perrie bit her lip again, "I'm really sorry, Jade."

"You knew I was in love with you all this time but you still kissed me and fucked me and it meant literally nothing to you."

"That's not what I'm saying," the blonde replied and shook her head vividly. Jade noticed that she was crying too now. "It didn't mean nothing but – Jade, I can't. I'm not in love with you. I like you, I love you like you're my best friend and I loved making you feel good and I enjoyed everything we did."

"You used me," Jade replied and choked on her words as a sob came through her lips. "You used me to get over Zayn and didn't care about the fact that I was in fucking love with you."

"No," Perrie told her and shook her head again. The motion was almost constant by now. "No, I promise. I just – I just didn't realise you were serious about it. I thought it was a drunken lie you told me, I thought – I thought you didn't mean it. I mean, I love you, too. But not like that."

"Why the fuck did you kiss me then? If you don't love me like that and if you didn't use me to get over that fucking asshat? Why did you kiss me?"

"I don't know," Perrie sobbed and pressed her hands to her mouth to keep herself from sobbing. Her shoulders were shaking violently and Jade wondered if she looked the same to the others because it definitely felt like it. "Fuck, I'm so sorry, Jade."

The brunette gripped her stomach, clenching her hands into the fabric and holding on tightly because she felt if she didn't she was going to fall apart. "Why did you do this to me?" She asked and blinked heavily. "Why did you make me believe you could like me too? Why did you tell me you missed me? Why did you want to keep sleeping in the same bed? Why did you do all of this?"

"I don't know," Perrie told her and reached out again but Jade took a step back. "Please, Jade. Please, don't be mad at me."

"How can I not?" Jade cried out and pressed her hands to her eyes so forcefully that she could stars. She knew she was completely ruining her mascara right now but she didn't care. "You fucking used me and I gave you everything."

"I love you," Perrie told her quietly, "just not like that. Please, I never meant to hurt you. You're my best friend."

Jade shook her head and pressed her lips tightly together to hold in her sobs. She didn't know what to tell Perrie, how to make her understand how she was feeling now that she had found out about the way Perrie felt. That she had never meant any of the things she had done, that she had only used Jade to forget about Zayn, just like she had thought but she had been stupid enough to push the thought away.

"I should have listened to my mum and Leigh-Anne," Jade sobbed and looked away from Perrie but it didn't help to overcome the pain that was pressing her chest together tightly. "They told me, they fucking told me."

Perrie's head snapped to the side, looking at the mentioned band member, "What did you tell her?"

The black haired female frowned and crossed her arms in front of her chest, "I told her to figure out what you wanted from her. So this wouldn't happen because I knew, I fucking knew that you didn't like her as much as she liked you."

"Let's all just calm down, please," Jesy murmured and put her arms up patronisingly. "We can get through this together."

"Just like how I helped Perrie get through her breakup with Zayn, right?" Jade asked angrily and wiped at her eyes. She knew mentioning his name this often probably wasn't fair but she felt treated horribly, she felt used and dirty for letting Perrie take everything from her. "I just want to go home."

"Jade," Perrie begged and reached her hands out for a second before dropping them because she knew it was hopeless.

"We'll tell them you got sick," Leigh-Anne told Jade and wrapped her arms around the brunette to hold her tightly. Jade just wanted to stay there forever, hidden from the world. Deep down she knew she wished it was Perrie's arms but she just wanted to get away from the blonde now.

It was an internal conflict because as much as she wanted to hate in this moment she knew she still loved Perrie and that was probably the worst thing about this whole revelation.