Ending One (Chapter Eighteen)

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No one questioned or asked how the two became inseparable. One day they were at each other's throats, the next one was softly singing to the other while they hugged.

Taylor hated being touched. Even if it was a hand on his shoulder he'd flinch away or punch the person. Going defensive until realizing what was really happening. He'd slip into his past, unable to repress it.

Jordan craved contact. Just something to ground him when he thought he'd disappear from existence. Even a poke reminded him that he wasn't stuck in that place again, and that he was safe from harm.

When Taylor had first saw Jordan going through a panic attack, he nearly punched him. Jordan had instinctively grabbed him, and when punched he just became more distraught. It made Taylor give in and hold Jordan's hand, but only that.

Taylor was more subtle about his. He'd find an empty room and just sat in there. Hours upon hours. Jordan didn't say anything when he walked in on him, just sat by him and stayed quiet.

They reached soon reached a point of a silent agreement. Taylor would just hug Jordan, and Jordan would let him. It gave Jordan the comfort he needed and Taylor the knowledge that he was in control of the contact. No one dared bother them, otherwise you'd have one livid Taylor at your heels.

--

"Hey Taylor," Jordan murmured, opening his eyes to look at the guy above him. They'd gone off again, this time in the back of the orphanage while everyone else was eating lunch. Taylor only hummed in returned, keeping his eyes closed.

"What are... Your thoughts on dating?"

Taylor sucked in a breath, eyes shutting tighter. His hands that were resting lightly on Jordan's chest started digging in. In a few seconds Taylor opened his eyes, not a clear emotion in them.

"I don't really have an opinion since I never got to..."

"Dating is like," Jordan paused, clicking his tongue, "dating's like what we do now. It can move faster or slower depending on the person... some people just date for days or years before moving on."

He tried his best to make it sound enjoyable. It's how movies portrayed it. Taylor nodded, closing his eyes again and leaning against the house.

"Yeah... Then I guess we can try."

--

In just a year the two became closer. Of course behinds the head mistress' back since she was so against it. It seemed to all come crumbling down one day after some news.

"I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't," Taylor repeated over and over and over. He pulled at his hair, pacing back and forth in the room as his chest heaved with breaths. Jordan could only watch from one of the corners, feeling like he could break as well.

"She can't do this. She just cant," Taylor paused, sinking down to the floor. A guy had come in, between 20 or 23, and asked for Taylor's papers. It had completely came as shock, and not the best. Jordan wasn't coming along, which only added onto the list.

To worsen it, Taylor didn't trust him. He was too young to be adopting someone his age. It only meant going back to old ways, ways Taylor wanted to forget.

Jordan got up from his spot, walking over to Taylor. He gently took his hands, rubbing circles on them. Slowly Taylor calmed down, locking eyes with him.

"We'll find each other," Jordan mumbled, raising one hand to kiss it, "I won't let anything bad happen to you. I'll stay with you."

--

I'll stay with you.

Stay with you.

Stay.

Jordan.

Taylor's eyes opened, staring up at a endless sky. It had been a dream. Just a horrible nightmare.

Memories came back to him often, all a sick reminder. Quentin had convinced him, and North Dakota was nice. They found a small house in the middle of nowhere, and Taylor was the one to leave the house.

Everything still ached, especially his heart.

"I knew I'd find you out here." Taylor glanced to his side to see Quentin moving to sit by him. Sitting up, Taylor sighed, closing his eyes to stop tears threatening to leak out.

"Is it that obvious?"

"You come out here to think."

"Jordan would take me out of the house to calm me down."

"You know if you want to move-"

"I'm fine," Taylor snapped too quickly, silencing him, "you shouldn't be ok either. I know being here-"

"Yeah. I know too," Quentin said bitterly. They both fell silent, finding interest in the dirt.

"This isn't working," Taylor spoke up, getting Quentin to look up. "We're miserable here. But people have to be looking for us to send us back."

"I know."

"This is our personal hell."

"... I know."

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HAHAHAAH YOU THOUGHT THIS WAS OVER

I am so sorry I have been having breakdowns cause of school. Updates will be slooooooowwwwwer than normal

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