14. Freddie dyes

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"Okay it's on," I pull the plastic over my skin and squirt some of the mixture onto my hands.

"Why do I trust you enough to do this?"

"Because you love me."

"I... I do," he tilts his head backwards to look at me, "I love you."

"I love you too," I lean over his shoulder and kiss his cheek, "now be careful I don't want to stain your face with this stupid dye."

"It's not stupid!"

"Tell that to the mark on my wrist where the dye got on it. I need longer gloves for this."

"What like horse birthing gloves?" He asks grinning stupidly.

"Number one: exactly. Number two: ew," I continue to cover his hair in the dye.

"So what are we going to do while this sets?"

"Go get a tattoo?" I laugh as he throws me a shocked glance, "Don't look so worried! I'm just kidding... For now anyway."

"Grr..." He turns around with the gunk on his hair covered in a plastic shower cap thing and cotton wool strips around his forehead, ears, and the back of his neck.

"You look like an alien," I mumble while retaining my laughter.

"I do not!"

"Okay E.T. let's go watch some TV," I set the little kitchen timer and walk through to my house's lounge where one gigantic poufy couch sits and the floor is covered in mattresses and beanbags as well as big fluffy pillows.

"Where are your parents?"

"Hawaii?"

"Was that a question?"

"Sort of... They're off on some sort of cruise. Heaven forbid they're ever actually home. They might even be gone more than your parents."

"Wow that's a lot."

"Yeah but it means we can do this," I kiss his temple, "and this," I kiss along his jawline, "and this," I kiss his neck.

"Hey! I thought you said I got to give you a hickey when we got home!"

"Yeah but," I pause mid-sentence to kiss his neck again and suck the skin lightly between my teeth as he tilts his head backwards to allow me more space, "your hair has dye on it and I wouldn't," kiss, "want to stain your or my skin," kiss.

"Mmm... Then you might want to stop being so... So..."

"So what," I whisper huskily, now kissing just under his ear.

"Sexy," he growls and shifts his hips a little against his jeans and groaning when I find a particularly sensitive spot on his neck.

I flick myself over him so I'm straddling his hips. I grind lightly against him as I continue to kiss his neck and moving to his collarbone just under the edge of his shirt. He moves his hands slowly to the bottom edge of mine and I stop with my hands over his.

"I... Sorry Ricky."

"I know, it's fine, really it is," he drops his hands, the mood dying down a little.

"I'm just not ready for..."

"I can wait it's okay. Just... I've been your friend for ages and you still won't tell me what's wrong," his breath catches in his throat and his face clearly shows the hurt he feels.

"Ricky... Okay okay just close your eyes first and don't freak out alright?" My face fills with panic and fear and he nods, holds my hands, and closes his eyes.

I squeeze his hands and let go so that I can slip my shirt off over my body. I take hold of his hands again and let out the breath I suddenly realised that I was holding.

"You... You can look now just," I throw my hand over his eyes before finishing my sentence, "Just don't freak out... Promise?" He nods and I remove my hand.

For a moment he's silent then his hands move to my torso as he slowly rubs his fingers ever-so-gently over the line scars on my body. He moves so that he's above me instead and slowly leans down and kisses every scar in sight.

"Do you still?" He whispers when he's finished and my head in nestled into his neck.

"No... I'm just really insecure about them... I was scared that you'd think they were disgusting or that I was some sort of sick freak."

"I would never," he wraps his arms around me and places one hand on the back of my head, "they just show how strong you are... That you were in such a horrible place that you felt like this was your only option... That this would help... And yet you're here, you survived. These only make you more beautiful. You are so strong and amazing and valid. I love you," He kisses me softly once more on the lips before holding me closer as I begin to sob into his collar, my emotions letting loose after telling the first person who isn't related to me what I've done... Showing him my scars and he still... He still loves me.

The little timer lets off a few loud ding sounds drawing us both out of the moment. I wipe my eyes on my hands and lean back, Ricky's arms still sitting on my waist.

"Let's go get your hair dye off before your brain turns purple," I laugh and feel my heart knit a little back together and a bit of joy drive out the hurt of my secrets. And it's all thanks to the boy with the now purple hair and a bunch of our tissue paper kisses (and maybe some rougher ones).


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