She Is My Hayaat

Chapter 5: White is for Purity

It had been two days since I had seen my sign after praying Istikhara even though I wasn't expecting to get one the first night. Mama and Bhabi both told me it was because I was pure at heart and that's why I got a pure answer.

I wasn't exactly sure what I had seen but some things stood out. In my dream, "or sign from Allah," I had seen myself in an emerald green dress my hair flowing behind my back. It was extremely cold, and there was a man praying across from me. I don't remember his face, but it seemed familiar. He was wearing a white button up shirt, sleeves folded up to his elbows. When he turned his head in salaam, he had a smile gracing his lips. I shamelessly stared at him the whole time. He got up from where he was praying and walked over to me. Surprisingly I walked towards him as well saying something that I don't remember. Before we could reach each other, I woke up to my blaring alarm for Fajr.

When I told Mama and Bhaiya about my dream the next morning over breakfast, and they both beamed at me telling me the sign was a yes, and that Allah had given me His blessings to move forward with the proposal. Sabr and Bhabi were excited and busy helping Mama with all the preparations. The boy's side was coming over today and the families would officially meet each other. It made me happy that everyone else was; however, I was scared and still hadn't seen his picture. There was no point in doing so anyways since I had already agreed to see him. I had this twisted feeling in the pit of my stomach, and I knew I was scared beyond my mind. I couldn't tell anyone, or else they'd be worried as well. The only person I could tell was Anam, but I decided I would tell her after everything was clear with either a yes or no from both sides. I didn't want to get her hopes up and then disappoint her, even though she'd kill me for telling her so late.

I sat on my bed staring at the endless numbers of salwar kameez Mama, Bhabi, and Sabr had laid out for me to choose from. I was already indecisive and so many choices were of no help. I ended up picking a cream-colored salwar kameez with fuchsia designs and simple thread work. It was simple yet beautiful. I didn't want to look like I was trying too hard, but if I went in my scrubs then everyone would scold me.

I had already showered and blowdried my hair my layers more prominent, and the tips curled naturally. Everyone agreed I should let my hair fall loose, since it was always in a ponytail. I was tempted to pull it back but I could hear Sabr's voice in my head, threatening me. "If that hair goes up in a ponytail today, then I will cut it all off!"

I sat in front of my vanity after putting on the pretty salwar kameez and looked at myself in the mirror. He's going to say no right away! I mean, any guy would be crazy to yes to someone so unattractive like me. Sighing, I ended up putting my hair half way up letting the loose curls frame the side of my face. I wore my rose gold, double studded earrings and my favorite watch that Bhaiya and Bhabi had gotten me last year for my birthday. I wasn't big on doing my makeup, but I occasionally put on mascara and eyeliner. I decided I'd put on mascara and nothing else since I wanted him and his family to see me as my true self.

As I swiped my lashes for the last time as a knock interrupted me and I called, "Come in!"

Sabr and Bhabi both walked in, they looked gorgeous! "You almost done Nouran jaani?" Bhabi asked.

"Yup, just about done."

I placed my mascara back in my makeup bag and sprayed myself with my favorite perfume, Noir Tease. Bhabi and Sabr walked towards the vanity and looked at me in awe through the mirror.

"Aww, you look beautiful masha'Allah! I think I'm gonna cry!" Sabr fanned her eyes.

"You do my love masha'Allah, but what about eyeliner? Do your big eyes some justice!" Bhabi exclaimed.

"Guys, I want them to see me for who I truly am! It's not like they're going to say yes either way!" I said.

"Stop underestimating yourself. Not only is my sister the prettiest girl in the world but also she's the sweetest. No offense Bhabi," Sabr winked at Bhabi while grabbing the eyeliner.