I learn important things

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I try to swallow, but it catches in my throat. The notebook is heavy in my hands, and I avoid Gray's eyes. Our dorm room has never felt smaller.

"Gray, I can't just read this. That's... that's... immoral."

"When have you been one to worry about morals?" He bites back. Ouch. That was unnecessary, but I get his point. "You wanted to drug those girls." Oh, right.

"Do I really have to read it?" I almost whine.

"You're gonna want to know what's in it, trust me." His gaze and voice are so steely that I don't really feel like arguing anymore. I take a deep breath and open the book, greeted by Lisanna's familiar handwriting that I saw so often when we were kids.

"April 17, Monday. First entry. God, that sounds stupid, doesn't it?" I start reading.

"You don't have to read out loud. In fact, it's better if you don't," Gray says ominously. So I read in my head. Words float in and out, through one ear and out the other, until it becomes juicy. Lisanna starts writing in bigger, sloppier letters, pressing harder with her pen, sometimes breaking through the paper. Names are thrown around, words are used, reused, and abused.

Everything, all sorts of thoughts, comments, critiques, complaints about the kids at FTH litter the papers. Each page has a name written in all caps above it, and some kids have more than one page. Others have blank pages. Rude comments on Laki's speech, on Jet and Droy's obsession with Levy, Reedus' size, even complaints about Mira and Laxus' relationship. X's through some people's eyes. Some entries have full blown stories of events concerning these people and Lisanna. Highlighter and colored pens show evidence that she maybe went back a few times to change or stress certain points. I don't see a page for Bianca, Gigi, or April, though. Convenient. I take a deep breath, feeling Gray's gaze more than ever.

"There's no way any of this is real. How could it? Those girls are framing her or something. Lisanna isn't this... this..."

"Mean? Natsu, you can't deny the possibility that it's real. How else would she know these things about specific people?"

I look desperately at Gray, "I don't know man, I don't know. But we have to find out." I throw the book onto my bed, frustrated. Gray and I both jump to attention when loose papers fly out from the book.

"What are those?" Gray exclaims, picking them up.

"I don't know... Wait! Gigi said something about later entries Lisanna wrote that they stole. What are these about? Maybe they explain something..." I take the pages from Gray's hands and scour the words, hoping to find some sort of explanation to this mess. What I read stops my heart.

They told me to get something good, so I did. This juicy little secret should serve whatever purpose they need. I just wish it didn't have to be Lucy of all people.

They announced it over the loud speakers. THEY ANNOUNCED IT OVER THE LOUD SPEAKERS. I didn't mean for that to happen! What do they want? What do they want with me?

Today Gigi almost hit me. She was extremely angry about something she overheard... Something about Natsu and Lucy going to the Halloween dance no doubt. She screamed at me to do something about it, something to stop this madness. Because of her, I lost everything. I need to make her stop.
Or I could make everything else stop.

They say it was Jellal who set the gym on fire. The guilt is eating at me. There was no way I could have known about an arsonist, but if Natsu or Lucy got hurt, I still feel like it would be my fault. My rage got the best of me. Lucy deserved to get his gift in a sweet, romantic way, however Natsu was planning it. But I ruined it. I heard her cry out when the fire started. Her scream was the loudest in my ears. And her cries for Natsu resonated in my ears.

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