Relapse;Signs

In Pursuit Of

(End lyrics by Structures)

 School started back up, and I wasn't sure yet if I liked it or not, but it did finally give me something to do after doing nothing for two months.

I awoke at seven and the light the sun gave off was very calm light, it didn't phase me too badly I guess, just a little surprising after the dimly lit night. It was way too early for anyone to be up, especially me, since sleeping was one of my favorite things to do, and it became one of my loves over the summer. After a while of fighting myself, I finally managed to get up out of my bed, and slowly, very slowly I attempt to to get up and get dressed. I put on a random shirt again, and then some skinny jeans. Today was one of the hot August days that everyone sort of loathed, but at the same time loved, So I didn't care for bringing a jacket. I brush through my hair and only a few strands fell out so far, which I was thankful for because I wasn't ready yet for when my hair would truly start to fall out, and then I put on a beanie and make my way downstairs into the kitchen. Mom was making breakfast, and Mallory was sitting at the table already. She had barely been home all break, and it was surprising to see that she finally was home for once.

"I made some pancakes if you want any." Mom said to me, hoping I'd take some, so I grab a plate and get a small one. It wouldn't be too much, approximately 80 calories, and I'll have eaten something, which would give me some sort of energy for school and it would convince mom that I was ok and not doing this shit again. Stealth is something you learn when you have an eating disorder. I learned to be stealthy and how to plan my meals so it'd look like I was eating to those around me when really my body was starving. Slowly I finish eating the food and then head over to the living room to grab my bag, and then go to the garage door, and before heading in I grab my keys and put on my shoes, and walk into the garage door.

"I'll be off." I say. Mom probably waved, but she wasn't visible to me at this moment. I knew I was picking Adrian up today, because he was on my way to the school anyway, so why not, so I put in my keys and turned on the car. I blasted some Northlane on my way to his place, and when I arrived it was about two minutes before I had told him I'd be there, so I guess that was a good thing. He walks out of the front door a couple seconds late and then throws his stuff into the back, and then he gets into the seat beside me and we drive off.

"Do you feel at all ready for this?" He asks me, and I shrug. I wasn't ready, that's for sure, but anything was better than doing complete crap for two months anyway.

"I mean, it's better than doing complete bullshit to be honest." I say, and Adrian nods as he texts Oliver and looks back out the window when he was finished.

"Yeah, You're supposed to ask Lina if she's available to play bass, don't forget, Oliver just reminded me." He says, and I turn into the road the school is located on. I sigh, it was just like I'd never left the place, it was such a familiar road, and frankly, I hated it. Adrian sighed as well, and the vibe of the place was back.

"We're getting close, I can feel the vibe of the school already, and truly I'm not ready, and I want to cry." He says, as I turn into the school parking lot.
"What do you say we try to save every tear we shed during the school year?" I suggest to him, and he laughs.

"I'd require a pool for that man, to be honest, school is just sad in it's own embodiment without all the drama, and now, add all the drama, bam, a pool of tears." Adrian says, and I then agree. I mean that was true, and all the shit that was probably going to go down because it was our senior year, and at this school, it's legend that the senior year causes the most drama.

We grab our stuff and I lock the car once we both had gotten out of it, and we make our way into the school for the first time, and we knew it would be a decently shitty year already, just from the vibes that the school was giving off. The school seemed so much bigger than I remembered it from last year, but it was such a big school anyway that it didn't really matter to me. It had multiple floors and it was just big, I used to get lost all the time in my freshman year.
"Do you have your schedule yet, like did you check it online?" I asked Adrian, and he nods, as we head to the auditorium to pick up the final copies of our schedules, which could still change in the next few weeks, and the online schedules were purely just drafts. We get the schedules and then compare them, I was relieved to know that Adrian had a few classes with me at least, then I spotted Lina a little later, and that reminded me of what Oliver had requested of me. She waved as I ran over to her, guess she remembered me from Chemistry. That was good, no awkward introductions were needed.