(Title and end lyrics from Reflections)
We ended up back at home, and mom had scheduled the doctor's appointment for five today, which meant that I had an hour to prepare myself for it. I was nervous, yeah, but I knew this was for the best. I knew it was necessary to get over myself and over this damn disorder. I was texting Adrian my anxieties to relieve them.
Dude I'm scared, what if I'm not sick enough?
Allen, you're basically on your deathbed, I promise you, you're valid
I know, I know, It's just, I never feel I'm sick enough, or small enough
It's only the disorder speaking, not you
I weighed in at 94 yesterday
Geez man, that's another pound down, that sounds rough, I really hope it all goes well today, good luck today ok
"Allen, you ready?" Mom asked me. I grabbed my phone and walked out towards her. She held onto my shoulder as we walked out towards the car. I sit in the passenger seat and mom starts the car.
"My heart's racing, sort of." I told her as we drove to the office.
"Be careful Allen." Mom told me and I shrugged.
"It's faster than it's been in months, it might be a good thing." I said, and she shook her head.
"I don't think, be careful, we're almost there." She said and so I tried to calm my heart back down and soon enough, we had made it to the office. I walked in behind mom, trying to ignore the stares of the others, as my body looked dead, truly dead. I stand behind her while she was checking in.
"I have an appointment for Allen today." She said, and the lady that was at the counter looked at some papers and then back at mom.
"You'll be called back in a second." She said, and so I sat down while mom filled out some forms that she needed to fill out. I was nervously tapping my knees, which I guess bothered mom, as she looked over numerous times.
"Allen, can you calm down? I can't concentrate." She said and I rested my hands again. My foot began to shuffle in protest. I forced it to stop as well.
"Allen." I heard a voice say, and I walked back." Mom stayed behind to finish the papers.
"I'll text you if they need you." I told mom and then walked back with the nurse, who, like every appointment stopped at the scale. The scale usually didn't scare me, but this time, it really did scare me. The nurse weighed me, 95 again, as I had eaten earlier and weight fluctuates throughout the day anyway. She then wrote that down.
"How tall are you?" She asked, and I shrugged.
"6'2." I told her, and she sighed, her face concerned.
"Ok, we'll go back to room 304." I followed her. We end up in the room, and I sit on the weird cot, or is it a table, I don't know, I hope you know what I mean though. I sit there and she takes my blood pressure and heart rate. Both were low, probably alarmingly so. She pulled out her computer and began asking questions.
"Do you smoke?" She asked.
"Nope." I tell her, and she types that into the computer, at least that's what I was guessing.
"Drink?" She asks again.
"Nah." I say.
"Have you had intercourse in the past six months?" She asked.
"No." I say while I shake my head.
"How are your sleeping habits." She asks.
"Horrible." I tell her.
"How so?" She asks and I shrug.
"Some nights it's impossible, some days I sleep until 4-5 pm." I tell her.
"And your eating habits?" She asked, and my throat seized. What was I to explain. My whole relapse from 145 pounds to 95. My attempts to recover.
YOU ARE READING
Relapse;Signs
Teen FictionTW Allen and Adrian were competitive gymnasts for many years of their lives. When Allen was 12, a coach made him re think everything, and sent him down a destructive path, for Adrian, a spinal injury forces his departure from the sport, and in a...
