(Title and end lyrics from Structures. I've been thinking of posting some fanfiction one day. I don't know. Angsty Star Wars fanfiction probably)
I've been here a few days, it wasn't as bad as people kept saying. Sure it wasn't fun, but the way everyone talked about it, it seemed like hell. The nurse came in earlier in the morning for vitals, which wasn't the most wanted way to wake up.
"Yo, we have to get to breakfast in about 30 minutes. Get out of bed." I hear Wes yell. I open my eyes.
"Did I fall asleep again?" I asked him. He nodded.
"Yeah, it'd be easier to get up now if you stay awake after vitals and shit." He says. I put on a hoodie and attempt to pop my spine prior to breakfast. The drip had been removed yesterday, which meant today I had to eat solid food. I didn't know what to expect, but the minute the thought crossed my mind, my body shuddered involuntarily. Lindsay put her hair up again. I sat on my bed and scrolled through Tumblr for a little, hoping that'd keep my anxiety at a down low. We all waited for the dreaded knock. The one that indicated breakfast. It came a lot more quickly than I expected. Wes left first, then Lindsay, then me. We walked into the kitchen where the food was laid out. Everyone sat in their usual spot. I got stopped at the door.
"Allen, since today's your first day eating solid food again we'll have you sit with a nurse. Your first solid meal is almost always a jarring situation. I got handed my tray and then pointed to the back. I sat next to Erin, one of the only nurses in the whole ward that wasn't extremely terrifying. She smiled as I sat down.
"I've been told it's your first solid meal today." She says. I nod, and look at the tray. There's a small roll, 75 calories, an apple, 50 calories, a granola bar, 90 calories, and as request of me, green tea, 0 calories. 215 calories in all, more than I'd eat in two days. I felt a lump forming in my throat, I swallow nervously.
"Allen, you're going to be ok." She says, kindly. I look down and unwrap the apple, and take a bite. The taste was something I missed dearly, but the feeling of eating was still unwanted. I take a few bites and put it back.
"Is that all you're having of the apple?" She asks. I shrug.
"Maybe." I say.
"Maybe while you're eating it'll help to talk about something else." She suggests. I nod.
"Sure." I say. I unwrapped the roll, and cut into small bits, then place them neatly in rows. Smallest pieces first. I slowly start eating the pieces. Erin notices the ritual.
"You don't have enough time if you're going to eat like that." Ein says. I shrug.
"Guess I won't eat shit." I say, and put the piece down.
"Allen, I know this is not fun. Frankly, you probably hate it, but if you ever want to recover, this is the first step." Erin says, slowly I start eating the pieces again. She smiles.
"To take your mind off of food, maybe you can tell me a bit about yourself." She says. I finish the roll, and start eating the apple.
"There's not much to say really. I'm Allen, I used to be a competitive gymnast, I sing in a band. There's not much else." I say, and take a few bites of the apple.
"You were a gymnast?" Erin asked.
"Yeah, I had a crack at the Olympics, but quit before trials." I say, and drink some of the tea.
"Why did you quit?" She asked, curiously.
"All my shit now stemmed from that. It became dangerous." I say.
"I'm curious, elaborate." She says.
"Well the sport is highly competitive, I was young, and my coach was a complete ass." I say.
"What'd he do?" She asks.
YOU ARE READING
Relapse;Signs
Teen FictionTW Allen and Adrian were competitive gymnasts for many years of their lives. When Allen was 12, a coach made him re think everything, and sent him down a destructive path, for Adrian, a spinal injury forces his departure from the sport, and in a...
