Seeing you like this (BTS Rapmonster/ Namjoon fanfic)

Nightmare

I woke up. Panting. I had a nightmare. It felt so true. It felt like it had just happened. I wipe my sweat with the back of my hand as I sigh. I couldn't get away with that of course.. It felt like I was going through the worst times of my life, again.

"Ya! Namjoon! What cha doin~" Serin says as she headlocks me first thing in the morning when I'm reading a book. 

"Reading." I reply as I mark the page, and shove it in my bag since that will get ripped in no time if I don't. 

"Good choice." she says as she watches me put the book away. 

"Mhmm.. I wouldn't want you to destroy another book of mine." I say as I chuckle a bit. 

"Ya! I'm sorry but I didn't mean to... -.- You're smart, and I'm not. I should be the one who's doing all that stuff not you... T-T" she says as she pouts. Hmm... I was smart enough to sense that she liked me. More than a friend. But that became a problem.. Even though she would tell me once in a while, 'I love you' but then she would go out with all the hots guys in our grade or lower or higher. No matter what grade they were in, if she thought they were okay, then they pass. I was just next to her, watching her get hurt, and throw away the "not needed" people in her life. 

I would ask her. "Do you know how it is to be in love?" 

She would ask. "Why?" 

I would say, "Why do you go out with them, and dump all the 'unnecessary' guys who think you are actually the one, and go with the stupid self-centered guys who you can predict that they will dump you sooner or later, and go after the other girls who seem enough for them?"

She would say. "Whatever. I'm gonna go to sleep. Bye. Love ya!" Normally. But then one day something changed.  

"BUT WHAT IF THAT PERSON WHO I REALLY LOVE DOESN'T LIKE ME BACK!? WHAT IF HE SEEMS LIKE HE CARES BUT DOESN'T IN REALITY! WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO!? I DON'T WANT TO WAIT LIKE IN IDIOT UNTIL HE COMES BECAUSE THAT WON'T HAPPEN!" she screams at me as I jump in shock. Where did this side of her come from? o_o I took the shock in anger.

"Oh shut up as if you know anything! I'm trying to help you, and you'r screaming at your best friend!? Just get out of my face!" I shout at her as she stands there in silence. 

"I know myself. Better than you. Don't underestimate the things I can see for myself. You weren't always there for me. You were the one I wanted but you didn't come. I'll just get out of your face." she says as we go our each ways. I felt bad for saying that... Well, not as bad as when the next day came along..

-Next day-

I have called her for about 49 times now. Texted her 25 messages, and mailed her 3 times. "Where are you? I'm coming. Tell me where you're at." "Are you okay? I'm sorry. I didn't mean any of the thing!" "Forgive me.. You know me.." I tried. She just didn't reply back. To any of those... I was desperate... What if I did something to her? Did I really hurt her that much...? I mean I didn't mean to but I don't know.. Those words just came flying out of my mouth... Now look what it has done.. She hadn't come to school today. Maybe she was sick. Maybe she overslept... I tried to give myself excuses as I walk to the office to tell that she wasn't here today. Guess what. She knew. And I found out. Why she wasn't here. With me.