My Name Is Dan➸phan

e l e v e n

Yes, yes you should, he thought to himself.

He answered for himself, because he knew his reflection couldn't. He stood there, staring at himself.

As if he would convince himself out of it. As if it could.

He poured out half the bottle into his small palm.

<<A|N: YES IK DANS FINGERS ARE HUGE BUT REMEMBER ITS A FIC p.s his hands are hot af>>

He looked at his reflection once more, his eyes begging for another decision.

He closed his eyes finally, and opened his mouth. It was at that very moment, before the pills went in, he thought of Phil.

He was supposed to see Phil in only a couple of days. He kept his eyes closed and his mind focused on Phil.He thought of his black hair, and his goofy tee shirts, and his adorable personality.

He felt a tear roll down his cheek. He finally let out a breath, as he gasped for any air he could. He looked down at his hands, realizing he was still holding a handful of small blue pills. He didn't put them away quickly, he picked each one out of one hand, into the other, and into the bottle. As if they were to be inspected for any impurities.

When he finished, his face was tear stained and his mind was broken. He took deep breaths to regulate himself. He grabbed a tissue and reassessed himself.

He could leave his parents, but he couldn't leave Phil. They were just getting started with their relationship.

Dan went back up to his room, grabbing his phone and a bottle of water.

Once he got into his room, he took of his jeans and his shirt. He threw it to the side and went looking for his bandage.

He has become a pro at wrapping it around himself, which wasn't necessarily a good thing. He always wrapped it too tight, he wanted to pass so badly to the point he didn't care about his physical well being.

He threw on a large sweater and laid in his bed, grabbing his iPod that was near his bed.

He knew that Phil wasn't out of work yet, which made him feel a little helpless considering Phil was his only support system, emotionally.

Dan finally fell asleep to the sweet sound of The Killers. Just until his mother got home.

______________________________

"Daniella?" His mother called up to him.

He awoke from a sweaty sleep, he was bundled in blankets and was really warm. He fought to get out of the jumble of blankets.

He jumped out of bed, feeling a bit dizzy but heading on downstairs.

"Yes, mum?" He said groggy.

She sighed looking at him, seeing how messy and sickly he looked.

"Nothing, nothing. Just go back to bed." She said.

"Okay...?" He said.

She smiled him.

"Mum, can I go to Phil's this weekend? Since I'm not going to school for the rest of the week?" He asked hopefully.