Chapter Eight

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The beer did not taste as I expected, and I nearly choked in surprise. Not unpleasant, but different.

Pepper is grinning like a Cheshire cat, seeming to think she won some sort of battle.

I take another sip and meander out toward where Noir is. His eyes widen when he sees me with a bottle.

"Don't act so surprised!" I snap, taking another sip. "I was going to try it eventually."

"I'm not surprised! I just didn't expect it is all," he explains.

"And why not?" I ask, downing another gulp. I'm shocked at how easily my emotions are being brought forth.

"I just- you know what? Never mind. I'm glad to see you loosening up." Noir grins and takes my now-empty bottle and sets it aside, guiding me to the dance floor.

My head feels a little fuzzy, but I don't feel sick and the room isn't spinning. I'm not drunk.

"Noir I am very uncomfortable with this dancing, can we please not?" I beg.

He sucks in his cheeks. "I thought you were loosening up."

"Was I not 'loose' before?"

"Vermont loose maybe, but not California loose." He grins.

     I roll my eyes and ask again to be excused from the dancing. "I'm seriously very uncomfortable with it, I don't want to trigger- I don't want to."

      Understanding flashes in his eyes and he grabs my arm and tows me outside.

      "What do you not want to trigger?" He asks.

      The fresh outside air cools my flustered skin from the heat and haze indoors. California is by no means cool, but it is much more comfortable than inside the steamy bar.

       "The dancing. I'm not... I'm not a dancer and I don't want to look like a fool." I say, my thoughts a jumble.

       "Did you ever dance when you were, you know, insecure?" He asks softly.

       "Once, and it triggered a major cutting fest that night. I've only danced three times since then, twice  at prom, with Carson, when I looked pretty, and at a Kaitlyn Kutch concert with Blair."

       And one other, personal time with my boyfriend that I will not tell Noir about.

     "Shut up, you look freaking gorgeous all the time."

     "I don't think I'm ugly or anything, I didn't say that!" I correct. "I'm totally comfortable in my own skin but, I want to keep a good impression on your friends and believe me, dancing will ruin that."

      Noir laughs, "Well I would love to dance with you at home, alone, where you won't get embarrassed and we can just laugh and have fun."

My gosh, he hit the nail on the head.

       The smile leaves my face and I'm transported back to a home date me and Carson had, and we had done that exact thing.

It was a rare afternoon where both Dad and Nana weren't home, so I asked Carson to come keep me company.

I wanted to bake homemade cookies, but cooking alone is nearly impossible with my handicap, and he came and gallantly helped me.

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