pretty chapped lips : malum :

4.6

It was the end of September when I saw Jack and Alex again.

I had never seen them outside before, the realisation sounded strange but it was true. It was like it hit me how real they were. That during that month I hadn't conjured them up in my hazy mind, made up memories and fake scenarios that we were caught in. For a while I just stared at them, wondering if I was seeing things.

It was a Saturday, I should have been studying. I should have been sitting with my back to the chest of the nineteen year old that was slowly but surely taking control of my life in the best way, rambling about atoms while he just nodded along like he gave a damn. But instead I found myself being pulled away by the boy I knew as my best friend, though our relationship was rocky, I loved him too much to say no.

I'm not sure how Luke convinced me to go out, but I'm almost sure it involved his oh so bright blue eyes batting their lashes and a puppy dog pout. It'll be fun, he promised, I just want you two to hang out. The boy from two years above that months ago seemed untouchable just stood there with that awkward cute smile that Luke always wore, and I wondered if ('platonically') sharing saliva was somehow making them share personalities.

It turns out Luke had been planning this for a while, to steal us away for a day and somehow make us the best of friends within a day. Pool table set up again, xBox waiting to be played and iPod docked with actual music playing, he basically decked out his basement to make it a party for three. No matter how much I didn't feel comfortable being there, I realised how much this meant and knew I had to at least try.

So I did.

We made bets as we played pool, accidentally chipping the balls overside and making one too many jokes on how Luke 'must be pretty shit with balls if they're running away' from him. We shoved at each other when we got too into FIFA and shoved Ashton off the sofa when he complained it was a shit game. We lay around tossing skittles into one another's mouths while Good Charlotte played in the background.

And honestly, it was fun.

The only reason we even left the basement was because Luke's mum needed something. He complained for a little as the boy two years above and I sniggered when his mum told him to 'grow up and go outside'. When he came back with pouted lips and a twenty dollar bill we just laughed as he blushed and told us to get off our asses.

I saw them in the store. Luke was at the till and Ashton flipping through magazines as I gave a running commentary over his shoulder of the awkward adventure of Luke trying to explain how he was actually sixteen when asked his age for the lotto ticket his mum wanted. It as the laughter that tipped me off. Bubbly and loud, not just as dazed but I knew it all the same.

I remember making some excuse as I went around the isle to follow the sound. They stood between cans of dog food and cat toys, tossing popcorn into one another's mouths, not even noticing me. Jack was actually smiling, wide mouth and toothy as he laughed when Alex jumped to catch the popcorn heading for his face. For a moment I thought to move, act like I never saw a thing. But then his smiled went smaller, and his arm lowered.

"Hey, pet."

The nick name felt strange to hear now. But I just nodded as Alex turned, looking at me with a smile that seemed real. For a second I thought that'd be it but he grinned, a little flick of his wrist as he said hello and I heard my friends call.

But I ignored it.

"Hey."

"How's you, pet? Little less pink I see." Alex wasn't stoned, but he still acted the same. He had that quirky smile, those bright eyes and jittery feel that made me wonder if it was just by habit or something he picked up along the way with pretty pills and sour shots.

"Uh, I'm good. Yeah, pretty good. How are you two?"

"We're good."

"Great."

It felt tense, awkward and like we were strangers. Then again, we probably were. Nights we spent together were really just nights of me gate crashing and things I don't remember anymore. Somewhere from behind, I heard the call of Luke's voice once again, reminding me that not only I needed to hurry up, but it may not be best if Ashton catches sight of these old friends.

"I- I, uh, I better go." I said, awkward and small as they just nodded when I raised a hand, Alex coping my action as Jack just watched from his side.

I almost made it around the corner, almost.

"Check with Cal about Halloween for us, yeah? He hasn't got back to us on it. Be shame if he wasn't there."

I wanted to turn around, to ask what he was talking about. But I just nodded, and wondered what I missing out on.

"Of course."

A/N only five chapters left now guys, how do you think it's going to end?

sidenote, i'm playing around with a couple ideas to come out after i've finished this or just before. they'll either be cake or lashton depending on which one comes along farthest before that time, how you feel about that?

anyways, i believe thats all for today. but really, how do you think this will end? or, what do you hope for?

until next time my loves,

- rachel x