pretty chapped lips : malum :

+ reasons, enso and more.

First thing's first, I feel like I should explain why I started writing this fic in the first place. It was sometime back in early February and it was a shitty night. I didn't sit down to think of an idea, I was just jaded and laying in bed. It happens like that sometimes, blanking out for a while, but that night I just stared at the candle I had lit in the darkness and just started thinking.

Before I knew it the line of, "once upon a time I met a boy who smoked more than he weighed" came to mind, and that was it. I grabbed my phone immediately upon that one line, and started writing it. That night I came up with what we now know to be the prologue of 'Pretty Chapped Lips'. The idea itself started building overtime as for the month of February I started writing it without really knowing what 'it' was.

This fic was never meant to be good, and in my eyes it isn't really. It was an experiment when it came to writing as I've never written in this style before. The use of italics, the short chapters, the 'dreamstate' of it all. I went out on a limb, and when it comes to the story, I'm happy. Because I know I could never have written this story line if it hadn't been in this style.

As for the plot, it wasn't even Michael's story. I realised that roughly half way though writing, the end in mind I realised that this story was more an outside look at Calum's life, even though it is never really explained.

Some of you may have gathered what happened to Mali-Koa, and in turn, what happened to Calum to make him this way. If not, it may hit you at some point. I always knew I wanted that to be Calum's story, and it just fit so perfectly when it came to the end. It wasn't just of random I killed him, I didn't run out of ideas, it was my idea from the very beginning. I made it happen because there are two main things of this story I want you to take away;

One, life isn't a fairy tale, and it tends to be hallowing to realise in the case such as Calums, when you're picking yourself up again, you'll get knocked down.

Two, the full circle effect. At the end I said how Michael had become Calum, when in actuality, he was him in a sense from beginning to end. Starting off as just a sixteen year old, getting roped into bad habits before watching the person he loved the most come to an end.

If you have ever read the book, 'The Peculiar Life of a Lonely Postman' you'll understand the use of the quote 'enso' before the final chapter. It came to me one day mid July when this whole thing pieced together for me. If not, don't worry, some things may be better left unsaid until you figure it out yourself.

If you like listening to characters feelings – or just new music, you may like the two playlists I have made for this fic. One is Michael's, one is Calum's and they can both be found on my 8tracks (@starlightdarknights) if however you hate 8tracks or something else, here's the songs they contain.

Michael's Playlist – 'He makes me feel alive.'

translanticism – death cab for cutie

sleepy towns and cemeteries – nicole dollanganger

ghosts can't love – hotel books

meet me at the equinox – death cab for cutie

take me to church – hozier

two weeks – fka twigs

pressure – milk and bone

heart shaped box – lana del rey cover

dog teeth – nicole dollanganger

you wanted to look for help, I wanted to sit and be rescued – flatsound

ghosts – nicole dollanganger

old money – lana del rey

you said okay – flatsound

flowers of flesh and blood – nicole dollanganger

goner – twenty one pilots

you be the anchor that keeps my feet on the ground – mayday parade

Calum's Playlist – 'You taste like cotton candy.'

hurricane – halsey

requiem for blue jeans – bastille

seven nation army remix – glitch mob

alligator blood – nicole dollanganger

party girl – chinawoman

laura – bat for lashes

angels of porn – nicole dollanganger

how to never stop being sad – dandelion hands

I exist I exist I exist – flatsound

I still think about who I was last summer – old grey

sleep patterns – merchant ships

all I want to do is get high with u in my room – dandelion hands

deadthbeds – bring me the horizon

when you cant sleep at nice – of mice and men

in the absences of everything, I promise to keep you warm – flatsound

lungs - hotel books

(calum's is my favourite)

Anyways, on a different note, I won't be uploading anything new until after Christmas. Maybe some of you want to read more of my writing, if so, fantastic, I promise I have a lot in store. But, I'm going to take the next few weeks to study for exams while trying to write so when my exams do come around I can upload on a regular schedule instead of making you all wait for weeks. For the time being I have what is to be my next fic sitting on my profile called 'The Relativity of Time' it's about cake the ship, the devil and fear of insanity - so add that to your library's if it interests you. But yeah, I may post an update here when I do start uploading again so if you archive this you'll be notified. Or you can follow me if you want, message me, whatever suits you.

But, that's it. This is the end. If you have any questions feel free to comment them

here

and I will be answering them, or like I already said you can just message me. I want to let out a very special thank you to a few readers such as icantfindmyusername and nickimlashton who have been reading for so long, always voting, commenting and just really making my day. There are a handful of others who do this but these two really stand out, and honestly thank you to both of you and everyone else for you kind words. Not to forget Jay (WHO WATTPAD WONT LINK BUT WIL NO DOUBT COMMENT AS BROKENTAIL-LIGHTS SO CHECK HER OUT) who without, this probably wouldn't exist. So, thank you to everyone for joining me on the journey of Michael and Calum, and, for the very last time, I love you and thank you for reading.

-rachel x