Gods And Monsters (IzayaXoc)

Pretty when i cry

The only thing I had hold dear was my mother the only family I had or least knew of. She took care of me all her own never asked for a penny from my grandparents, they dishonored her as fast they found out she was having me, you could say they are quiet of traditional Japanese family too traditional for my mother young ways of a rebel. She never tried to hide the sky with her hands for me, always honest and straight forward to me and now I'm thankful for that. She worked hard for us to have a future and now you would ask what about my father well thats a tricky part its a mystery not even mom knows as I said mom was such a crazy, party girl. Having night stands here and there it was gonna be a hard time to even think of their faces so mother never bothered with that.

She gave birth in her hometown but after a year we moved to US, Florida so I grew up in Florida till now. Mother wanted to be buried in her hometown and for me to continue my life there too.
And I choose to please her. I had a part time job and mother had some money saved if we need it for emergency. With that I decide to rent an apartment in ikebukuro district.
At least that's are my plans.

I felt my world stopped, that hell froze over. When I got a phone call from the hospital. My mother had been in a battle with cancer for five years. She wasn't getting better, weaker everyday. To be honest I was prepared for a year for this even her, that's why I did my best in school and at work taking her out to eat fancy dinners every night, making her laugh every second that I could. I made sure she didn't have any hardship nor feel any sadness, if she dies then she will die happy thats all I care for.

But still even if I tell my self over and over again that I knew she was gonna leave me this year. It still feels like its a lie that she has left. Its been a week. It was a Wednesday I was in class when I got the phone call telling me she was really bad and that I should see her, that it might be her last day. I ran like hell to the hospital. When I finally made to her room panting and a sweaty mess. She was there in her bed, smiling.

"Ma.." I said while I walk towards her she just smiled at me, I took a hold of her cold thin hands so fragile like those China dolls she would get me as a child delicate dolls. My hands shacking uncontrollably and hot compare to hers.

She let go of my hands and move them to my face. Looking in my pale green eyes, clashing with her honey ones. "Don't be afraid Lena" she whispered.

"But ma.. You can't leave not now.." Tears finding it ways out running in my face. I closed my eyes as lean on her hands.

"You know what to do sweety, Ikebukuro" she said calmly.

I just nodded. "Your so pretty even when you cry, can't believe your my daughter Lena" she started to play with my hair like she used to do when I was child and would get scared whenever was a storm passing by. "Never cut your hair, you know how much I love how it looks on you" I just nodded. Couldn't find my voice to respond to her.

She lied down on her bed tiring look on her face, I took a grip on her hand scared that she will disappear any second. "I love you mommy" I whimpered tears falling uncontrollably. She just smiled back "I love you too Lena" she respond back. We stayed like this me clinging on her, her heart monitor would beep few times each time would take more time to beep. Till it didn't..

She left a Wednesday at 4:26, on September.

Had a week dealing with the medical bills, funeral, and the moving to Japan.
Already send a letter to my school informing I wasnt gonna come back. I quit my jobs. Packed my belongings, we had everything worked out the only thing we were waiting was her death.

And now here I am at the airport waiting to get on the plane that will take me to Japan a journey of almost 15 hours. I was getting frustrated already by just thinking about this 15 hours of boredom. I have few books and ds but I can't help but feel that I should have more ways to entrainment for me. I sigh, watching the people in the airport family, couples, business people here and there can't help but fall to my old habits of starring at people, wasn't some one of crowds always kept my self from other people. Some would say loner, but I wouldn't call my self one but I would say I wasn't just social active. Didn't like going out always liked to spend time at home with mom, she was my only friend and I truely thought I didn't need no one else, only mom.

But now its just me, I stared at a family of five. 'Wonder if I ever have a family on my own..' I shakes my head, what's with this thoughts I can't have them. I'm moving to japan just cuz mom asked. Love shall be the last thing in my list, if I get lonely then I get a cat. Couldn't help but smile with that thought I always wanted one but mom just happened to be allergic to them.

I checked my phone for the hour, realizing it was time for me to get on the plane I picked my bag and headed to the gate for my plane, handling my ticket to the lady. As she gave it back to me with a polite smile wishing for a safe trip. I entered to the plane and searched for my seat. Finding it and getting comfortable I closed my eyes and got ready for this long and dreadful trip.