Sweaters || Malum

Chapter 10

So yeah, I already reached 150 reads on this. So thanks everybody who votes and everything xx

Also trigger warning.

Song for chapter: Broken Home by 5 Seconds of Summer xx

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The pills were back to being sorted and placed back where they were supposed to be. What is three pills missing? But I sat at home, once again, with a cool piece of thin metal in my hand. It was almost controlling me, making a choice. It was slowly killing me emotionally, and destroying me physically.

Cutting destroys you in every way possible, it brings you down to the lowest place. You will slice to feel alive, and doing this will make you feel dead. It's a paradox, really.

I felt extremely exhausted, because I decided to take my Mum's sleeping pills. I was half-awake as I cut into my wrist. I watch the blood drop onto the sink counter top. I look up and look at myself in the mirror. I focus on my flaws, how my skin was oily and bumpy. How my lips were oddly shaped, how my nose was a bit wide. My flat hair was still dripping from my shower and it was quite messy. I smile and immediately frown at my appearance.

I made only a few cuts before I drop the razor and it lands on the floor. I start shaking as I lean back and hit the wall, and I begin to cry. "Why am I me?" I cry.

"Calum?" I hear my Mum's voice ask from my bedroom.

"Yeah, I'm going to the bathroom!" I reply, trying to not sound upset.

"Well... Calum, I need to go out for a bit.. Your father, he was arrested. He... Calum, I'll be back." I hear her voice crack; she was obviously crying. Before I would respond I hear her footsteps dart away, and I just look down at the floor and smile a bit. He was arrested.

I lean down against the wall and look at my surroundings. I see my bloody razor blade on the ground by my feet as I watch my wrist bleed. My right arm looked disgusting, 'Failure' hasn't faded away. Hasn't healed.

I wonder what somebody would think of this if they ever saw.

I reach for my bandages that had fallen to the floor a few minutes ago and I wrap my bloody wrist. I calm down and scrub the blood drops on the floor and in the sink. When everything was clean, I grab my blade and go back into my room. I turn the light off in the restroom and hide the blade in its usual spot. I glance at my sweatshirt and decide to place it on a hook and get ready for bed.

I lay down and feel my drowsiness take over. My wrist was burning as I fell asleep.

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I wake up to my alarm about thirteen hours later. I groggily get up from under my covers, my head pounding as memories from last night return to me. I smile at the thought of my father arrested as I get up from bed and get dressed. I look again in the full body mirror before slowly taking off the bandages. I make sounds of pain as it pulls from the open wounds. I watch my wrist from any dried blood from last night and throw on my sweatshirt. I put on my deodorant and a small bit of cologne. I put my beanie on as well.

I grab my bag and go downstairs. I see my parents sitting at the kitchen table and my heart drops.

"Father, Mum." I greet them, heading towards the front door.

"Calum, sit down." My Mum orders.

I nod slowly and drop my bag by the front door and head back to the kitchen. I pull out a chair and sit down. "So you're aware we have paid this house off," My Mum starts and I wasn't sure where she was heading with this. She continues, "so you.. Calum.. Last night your father was arrested because he was in a drunken bar fight. I have decided, and have been deciding the past few months - Calum I want a divorce from your father. There will be no custody battle. You and your father will be staying in this house, and I am leaving." Her voice cracks as I watch a few tears drop from her eyes.

"No." I whisper, my own tears falling.

My father looks lovingly at my Mum, but then glares at me. I begin to sob as she keeps talking; "Calum it's n-not your fault. You need somebody here more often to support you more than in the financial sense. You will see me every Sunday. Your father and I talked about this. I have started packing my things and I do not have work today. I-I am leaving by tonight. I am going to your grandma's house. When I get a place you will be seeing me every Sunday after that." My Mum forced a smile on her face and looks at me with her teary eyes.

I continue shaking my head, I scream, "No! It's not real!" 

I get up from the table and kick the chair. "Calum!" My father snaps as I go to the front door. I throw on my shoes and grab my keys. I check my sweatshirt pocket for my phone and earbuds. I grab my backpack and leave the house, slamming the door harshly behind me.

I look down as the cool air hits my face. It makes my face cold, hitting the warm salty liquid that was falling from eyes. I wipe my eyes frequently as I walked to school. "It's not real. My Mum is going to be staying. No. I can't be with him." I whisper to myself softly, continuing to cry.