Sweaters || Malum

Chapter 20

Song for the Chapter: Jet Black Heart by 5SOS 

Warning: THERE IS ACTUAL MALUM IN THIS FEEL HAPPY

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That was Saturday night. It was more stress than I have encountered in my life, but to an extent I am slowly moving past it. My father hasn't made much of an effort to talk to me or even associate with me at all. I have been feeling alone and isolated this entire weekend, but I am feeling as if I am creating it by myself. In humanity, we create our own sorrow.

I guess you could say what happened to me is devastating, or even a bit sad. But to me, it was my fault. I allowed him in my room, I didn't fight back. I haven't told anybody. It isn't like I would not have anywhere to go afterwards, I have my mother's place. Speaking of my Mum, she hasn't contacted me since she announced her departure from my father. Which is good on her end, I would never want her to be hurt and belittled like my father has done to me. Because now, well, it has had a small effect on me. Some would like to over exaggerate that, but I am not going to.

The open wound on my arm is close to being completely healed and the scarring that has already begun to form is revolting to say the least. But today was Monday, and I was walking towards the auditorium doors. The halls smelt as they always do, like perfume and coffee. The people who made it through the audition to the actual talent show were posted on a list on the doors leading to the auditorium. I couple people snickered as I walked by but nothing they could say could distract me from what I was doing. I had a plan, a plan that would make most happy; and others may crumble.

I hold my breath as I turn the corner and see the white piece of paper taped to the door. I see that it was split up into different sections. Dancing, singing, and other. I close my eyes for a brief moment before looking over the singers list.

I felt disappointed as I went through five names and didn't see mine on it as I kept going. There was nine names. And at the very bottom of that small section was my name and I gasped in shock. I didn't know I did that good to actually be accepted but I felt accomplished. I knew what I was going to do. It was only two and a half weeks away at this time. It was November 16 and the talent show was on a Saturday. Which was fine, I just wasn't sure how the crowd was going to be. Not that I cared too much. It is going to be my moment of glory.

I walk away from the doors and see the same boys from the bathroom over a week back. I look at them but then look back at the ground. They chuckle and one says, "There goes STD Cal!"

I stop in my tracks, wanting to yell at them. I wanted to curse and say hurtful things just like they were to me. I have avoided Twitter for this exact reason. Kyle Dalton is a character all right, I am not sure if he is real or what the person behind the screen has against me. But I take a deep breath and I continue walking. I told Michael to meet me in the stairwell incase there was any good news about my audition. I take a left and see Michael leaning up against the wall looking at his phone.

"Hey." I greet him with a smile.

He doesn't say anything but walks up to me and plants a soft kiss on my lips. "H-Hey handsome." He whispers. He had a sudden confidence boost, I think. He usually waits for me to lean in or we're in the perfect moment to kiss. I enjoyed it though.

"Your lips taste sweet." I whisper, pushing him up against the wall with ease.

"I had g-gum." He tells me just as quiet.

I laugh a bit at his complete awkwardness and he wraps his arms around my waist. "You know what I think?" I ask him, without expecting an answer. He looks at me with curiosity. "I think you should come over. My father has work, nobody will be home. We could play board games or some crap, watch a movie. I could be all romantic if you want, but some chocolate covered strawberries." I ramble, smiling at the daydream in my head.

"I-I don't n-need to have any chocolate c-covered strawberries. I-I am just a-a bit chubby." He tells me, removing his arms from around my waist and letting them fall at his sides.

It hurts to know that he is self-conscious. He was so sweet and he was such perfection in my eyes. Everything about him made me smile and want him to be closer to me in every sense. I press my lips on his forehead and leave them there. I notice his eyes close and I see the corners of his lips tug up. "You are not chubby. Your stomach is so adorable, Mikey. Don't even believe anything else. To me, your personality is perfection. Your body is perfection. You in general just make me so happy and whenever I look at you I need to remind myself how lucky I am to have somebody like you." I whisper as we press our foreheads together.

My eyes widen as he pulls up one of my sleeves, thankfully not the one with the fresh cut on it. He looks at me and then pulls my scarred arm up to his face. "Y-You're better than this I-I hope you know." He stutters, his voice a bit shaky. He gives me a smile but I can see tears beginning to form in his eyes as they glossed over.

He did something similar to what I just did. But instead, he places his lips against my wrist. I felt suddenly uncomfortable at the assumed to be sweet gesture. "I-I think that you're p-perfect, t-too. Despite your i-insecurities and flaws." He tells me. He pulls my sleeve back down to cover the secrets I hid from most for a long time.

"I hope that you know that I don't deserve you." I tell him.

"I-I don't d-deserve you either. I-It isn't a matter of m-mental s-state, it is a matter o-of personality a-and you are such an a-amazing p-person Calum." Michael tells me.

He has so much more sense than I did. The bell sounds and I ask; "Meet up after school?"

He nods and we go our separate ways. I am left smiling to myself, still feeling a small tingle on my wrist from where he kissed.