Sweaters || Malum

Chapter 15

Song for the chapter: Welcome to my Life by Simple Plan. 

Dedication to infireskookie because we both love Simple Plan and she is my best friend on here xxx 

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I can't comprehend this whole Twitter incident. I rebooted my account as I was scrolling through the notifications. My father still hasn't been home and my Mum has still failed to get in contact with me. This Kyle Dalton kid was quite confusing, and I still am unsure of my role in this.

If he has his own issues than that if fine, but spreading rumours and such about me for no apparent reason is not okay with me. I hover my fingers over the keyboard, trying to think of what to say. I begin typing to him:

Hey so I know that you know me, but my question is, who are you?

I pressed send and it showed that he had read it. I wasn't sure how long I waited, but a response never came.

I begin reading through all of the comments from names I recognized from school, and names I did not even know. They were all bashing me and making fun of me and for what? What did I ever do to them? Some of them wished pain upon me and even physically threatened me. I was openly gay before, and I am openly gay now. He even admitted that he lied about sleeping with me; I mean I don't even know this dude. Yet people are still saying I have sexual diseases and such.

"lol always knew that calum guy was gross"

"HAHAHA CALUM HAS STDS #gross"

"go kill urself you faggot emo"

"If I cross paths with you, I won't hesitate to kick your ass, spreading your diseases wherever you go is disgusting smh #fagwhore #calumhoodisgross"

I slam my laptop shut and began rocking back and forth as tears fall. I was slightly scared for my own safety in school from everything going on online. It was straight out harassment but nothing could be done about it because of it being online. I get off my bed and quickly take off my sweatshirt. I glance down at my arms and rush to the bathroom. I look in the mirror at my reddening face and my swollen eyes. The tears running down my face and my messy hair. Why do I let this happen to me?

Sometimes I felt like nobody understand exactly what I was going through, but then I remind myself that other people have it worse. I go back to my room and pull out my razors and look at the stained metal, remembering the promise I made Michael. Not that it might have mattered, so what I did is I went to Youtube to listen to some music.

I type in "welcome to my life simple plan" and wait for the results to pop up. I click on the video and suddenly an idea pops into my mind.

I spend the next hour and a half learning how to play the song on my acoustic guitar, and I allow myself to calm down. I sing along to the meaningful lyrics, tapping my foot to keep a rhythm. Which I was quite good at, being in a band class and everything. After playing for so long that my wrist hurt from the constant up and down movement and I wasn't in the mood to sing anymore; I put it away. I looked again at the metal I left on my desk before playing the guitar. I shut my eyes tight and shake my head. I needed to get better, for Michael.

When Michael found out that I hurt myself I genuinely felt like somebody cared about me. I haven't really felt like that in a long time. I mean, Luke and I may be best friends but it would just be that. A high school friendship and he may not even care about me outside of that.

I reopen my laptop and decide to check Twitter again. I did not like the feeling of not knowing what they were saying. I saw I got a direct message and I clicked on it, unhappily surprised to see it was from Kyle Dalton.

He wrote: This is your karma Calum and you brought it upon yourself.

I didn't bother responding and I decided to check my feed. The hurtful comments continued as I bite my nails nervously. Reading over the comments, my vision began blurring from oncoming tears. I was so sick of crying, so I grabbed my phone and texted Michael.

Hey uh, do you want to come over?

I pressed send, expecting for him to say no and break up with me. I wasn't a pessimist, I was a realist. He probably wouldn't want to date me, I am losing my popularity and am now a whore - at least according to people online. I felt kind of trapped. I didn't want to know what they were saying about me, but at the same time the curiosity would kill me until I knew.

My phone buzzes and I check it almost immediately.

Sure be over there soon :))

I smile giddily to myself and grab my phone and go downstairs. I text him back,

Do you want me to meet you halfway or something?

The response is quick.

No my Mum is driving me, thanks though see you soon xx

Again I smile to myself, he was really cute over text. My phone buzzes again and it said:

Beware, I dyed my hair. hope you don't mind? :)) xoxo

I hear a car pull into the driveway before I could text him back and I look out the window and see Michael's new light green hair. He says something to his Mum and comes up to the front door. I open it before he knocks and I smile at him. "Hair looks great, babe." I compliment, stepping aside as he comes in.

"You d-do, too." Michael smiles, his cheeks turning a slight shade of red. He was so adorable.

"So, do you want to go up to my room? Or the living room? Your choice. I don't know, somewhere." I shrug, not thinking much. I was too distracted by Michael's appearance. I was so damn lucky, I swear I was.

"Y-Your room is f-fine." He replies, slipping off his shoes by the front door. I nod and go up the stairs, him following close behind me. "I-I hope you d-don't find this t-too straightforward or c-creepy, but your b-butt is nice." Michael tells me and I stop and look back at him.

"And yours is cute." I respond smoothly.

We enter my room and the first thing I notice is the razors still on my desk. Before I could do anything about it, Michael walks in. "Wait, leave for a moment. I need to pick a few things up." I tell him and he looks to where I was previously staring. His smile dropped, and it was followed by a disappointed frown.

He was disappointed in me. Is he going to leave me. "C-Calum move please." Michael tells me seriously and I wasn't sure what he was going to do.

I shake my head and he unexpectedly, yet gently, shoved me aside. He grabs the razors from the desk. "Hey!" I shout at him. He looks around and see the bathroom. Was he going to flush them? "Michael Clifford." I warn as he walks to the bathroom "Stop!" I scream at him.

I follow him towards the bathroom, but I don't want to grab him. I would feel abusive.

I see the thin pieces of metal drop into the toilet. "I-It's for you." He whispers. He flushes them.

I watch in disbelief. My worry faded when I realized: if he thought that I didn't have access to them, maybe he wouldn't have to worry? I would just have to avoid him seeing my arms. It's for the better. I decide to act as if I had no other options to cut with, or something along the lines. "You had no right!" I yell, feeling bad for doing so.

"C-Calum, I want to help you get b-better. P-Please trust me and d-don't yell at me? I want t-to have a good t-time?" He smiles innocently and my shoulders relax and I give him a small smile.

I go closer to him and gently place a kiss on his cheek, which was a bit stubbly. "I am okay with that."