Sweaters || Malum

Chapter 26

Song for the Chapter: Somewhere I Belong by Linkin Park

Dedication to Robin5SOS because she voted and commented on the last chapter. Appreciate it a lot <3 xx ~

And just so everybody knows, there is seven chapters left. There will be three epilogues because it follows different people. (Do I even make sense?) But yeah. Main book will end on Chapter 30, but everyone may want to read the three epilogues.

Countdown to Talent Show: 3 Days

--

Michael left a little while after the whole intimacy thing. He tried to persuade me to go back to school yesterday, but I refused. My father wasn't home, once again. It left me to wonder what he was doing the days that he was gone. I hoped that he would be gone for a while, though. I didn't want to see him again, especially after yesterday. I hadn't allowed for the memories of his sexual abuse act get to me. I tried to avoid it at all costs, and it worked until I was placed into a voluntary situation similar to what I had experienced with my father. 

I stand outside of the school, cold air hitting my skin. My backpack was loosely hanging off of my left shoulder. I go inside and head directly towards where Luke, Ashton, and Michael would be. But instead of seeing them, I just see Ashton. He was staring at his phone, seemingly oblivious to his surroundings. 

Hey Luke, where are you??

I press send, and then I look back up at Ashton. At the same time his head lifts up and we make eye contact. I see a large bruise covering the side of his face. I shouldn't have done it, but I smiled at him. He just looks back down, he seemed defeated. Upset.

My phone buzzes and I check it.

Mr. Folsom's room.

I look again at Ashton, feeling guilty for what I had done. I knew well that I should have been proud, standing up to him. I could already figure that he was Kyle Dalton, and I just couldn't find out why he wanted to create a fake profile to hate me. I would understand it more now than I did earlier. I begin walking away and I am pushed forward slightly. I turn around to see Ashton and everybody was already looking at us.

"Go away, Ashton." I tell him, not wanting a repeat of yesterday. I lost control of myself, and honestly I would compare my actions to those of my father.

He shakes his head rapidly and I see a tear fall from his eye. "First Michael now Luke? Why are you try to take everything away from me?" He screams, staring at me angrily.

"I didn't take anybody from you, Ashton. It was your own actions. You haven't lost Michael, but I sure as hell hope you've lost Luke." I spat.

We stare at each other as people look at us in fear. I am not much of a physical fighter, nor a verbal fighter. I want to go back to a month ago, before I got involved with Michael. The Kyle Dalton problem may have never arose and I would still be well liked. I would still be upset with how my life has turned out up until this point; but at least I wouldn't have everybody hating me as much as I do myself. "I loved Michael!" Ashton screams at me and I could hear gasps. If I could register it fast enough I would probably gasp too. He begins to cry and continues to yell; 

"I still love him! I was waiting for a time to come around and swoop him up in my arms! I wanted everything to be perfect with him! Then you come along, knowing nothing about him, and you take him away. Take what I loved away. I tried dating Luke, wishing that I could take him away from you. But you didn't love him! Not romantically, anyway. I got so fucking frustrated that he wasn't like Michael! He didn't stutter, his hair wasn't dyed, and his eyes weren't the perfect shade of fucking green!

No his were blue and he was confident in himself! He is cute I'll give him that, but he is nothing, nothing, like Michael! I just wanted something to show off and love and cuddle with, and for some reason you found it perfectly fucking acceptable to take him away. You just... took Michael without any consent from me. I tried scaring you off and it just didn't work. I thought I could make him hate you! So I created a fake account, pretended to be okay with you, and I talked shit about you. Lies upon more lies did I tell, and people began to hate you. They began to hate you as much as I did!

Everybody except for Michael and Luke. They stayed faithful to you. Luke almost didn't! When he saw the shit 'Kyle Dalton' wrote he was so appalled! I loved it, I thought that I could finally hurt you! But I didn't. No matter what I did Michael didn't come back, no matter what I said! It could be horrific and mean, and when I asked him about it he just... didn't care! I texted you a warning and I wanted to fucking ruin you! But I couldn't then and I can't now. Luke broke up with me because I hated him! I hate Luke because he isn't Michael! I would hit him, trying to bring his confidence down. I wanted him to be weak and vulnerable so I could be the hero. Then he just... leaves. Leaves me. It's all your fault! Go fucking kill yourself! I fucking hate you, Calum Hood!"

I stood there, absolutely terrified from how I was seeing Ashton react. After Ashton's speech he falls to the ground. It was so quiet that you could hear his sobs echo. I couldn't hear anybody breath, and nobody moved. Everybody's eyes were on Ashton, who was on the ground. I turn around and see Michael and Luke standing there with wide eyes.

"He's Kyle Dalton?" Luke asks me and I frown at the discoloration on his face. 

Soon it went from dead silence to an erupt of laughter from a lot of people. There were names thrown around, directed at Ashton. There were a couple people who just continued on with their way, and others who stayed silent and surprised.

When it died down everybody walked away from the scene, yet Ashton was still crying. At that moment I didn't see a bully, or somebody who wanted to hurt others. I saw someone who was broken. He was broken like me, but he directed that self hurt unto others while I directed my hurt unto myself.

The bell sounds and I take a couple steps back, holding onto Michael's hand. "I-I hate you!" Michael yells at Ashton. Ashton looks up with bloodshot eyes and a bright red face. I felt horrible, I should have walked away. I shouldn't had come to school, and I wish I made different choices. 

I would never say that Michael and I were a mistake, but I hurt others in the process and it hurts me to know that I did that. 

--

It was band class, and I sat at my chair tuning my saxophone. My eyes constantly directed towards Ashton, who looked completely drained of any emotion. There had been so much talk about Ashton. Nobody hated me anymore after people found that the Kyle Dalton was a joke by Ashton. Say what you want about the people in my school; they may bully themselves but that is only with factual evidence. Which seems counterproductive, because if something is factual and on the worse side of the scale; it isn't something to exploit.

People were nice to me again, they didn't laugh at me or call me names as I walked by. I wanted it to be back to the way it was before, but I knew that I could never do that. I unintentionally destroyed somebody in the process of me making myself feel better in terms of a romantic relationship.

"Here's a piece that I passed out last week. You're lucky we haven't actually played it yet." Mr. Carp says to me, placing a piece of paper on my stand. It was called 'Overture to Candide'. I looked at it and then looked at the tempo it was supposed to be at, and I knew it was going to be a difficult piece.

"Everybody finger along to the piece." Mr. Carp announces and plugs in his laptop the the Smart-Board. He sound of the piece rings through the room and I could tell the piece was going to be difficult for the clarinets and flutes.

I look to Ashton who was rapidly fingering along to the piece. He seemed slightly more lively now that he was in an environment that he enjoyed. I turn around and see Luke staring at the piece with large eyes. He looks at me and says, "I want to opt out..."

I smile and look to Michael who was looking at his paper and air drumming. I look at my piece and laugh a little bit at the clarinet and flute parts because though I had runs and other fast pace songs it was barely anything.

So I continued with the sight reading, other thoughts filling my mind. The piece seemed upbeat and fun, and to an extent I would want to play it in a concert but knew that it would be far too late for that.