I'm afraid to love you back...

Chapter 1

Chapter 1

I am shy. I am quiet. I avoid people. I don't advertise things. I don't have any friends. Everyone avoids me. I don't mind though. If they don't notice me they don't notice my problems.

These thoughts run through my head as I pretend to be reading at my lunch table. Once again I am sitting alone. My eyes pretend to skim the page. I do not eat lunch. I do not eat much in general. All my food goes to my sister. Beautiful Camille. Everything is for her. That is what I tell myself to stay sane.

Everyone chats eagerly about the daily gossip or about family drama. Heated debates and furious scribbling on homework that is due next period. People laughing and people shouting. The cafeteria activities never change. Every day everyone sits at the same table. Nothing ever changes.

Except today something was different. I felt people looking at me. I felt people noticing me. I could not understand why. Glares from the angry blondes who flirted hard with any boy who even gave them a glance. The tall boys who constantly talked about sports. All of them staring at me. It made me feel conscious and tug at the sleeves covering the bruises on my arms.

Picking my books up I leave the cafeteria feeling my anxiety grow. I weave my way through round tables and hundreds of chairs just waiting to trip me. I had a small limp in my walk. A defect from a childhood memory that never ceased to make me cringe.

I concentrate on my feet avoiding the metal chair legs. My skinny jeans hug my skin making me even more conscious of the not so subtle glances people are throwing my way.

I manage to make it out the door without making a fool of myself. My books are hugged to my chest and there was no reason to go back to my locker but I had nowhere else to go. I put my head against the cold metal. I was tired. I worked late last night. My dad refused to work.

I put the combination in and just stare at the books. There's was still about five minutes until class. I couldn't go back into the cafeteria. My hands were shaking slightly. My head was racing and my nerves were on edge.

I lived with my father and my sister Camille. My mom died from a car crash when we were young. My father didn't take it well. He drinks a lot and does not treat my sister or me well. I protect Camille. I pay for our rundown house and feed us.

"Uh, hello?" I jump a little as a voice reaches my ears. I turn dropping one of my books. We both automatically bend down to pick it up but our hands close around it at the same time. Our eyes meet.

I'm surprised at who it is. I've seen him walking through the halls. He seemed to be liked throughout the school. I pull my book from his hands standing slowly.

The white lights reflect off his perfect brown hair. His eyes shine with something I can't identify and I felt his breath on my skin. I back up a step trying to avoid him.

"I'm sorry," he says lifting his hand but not able to figure out what to do with it. He lowers it staring at me.

My hands were shaking harder now and I clutched my books to help it stay unnoticeable. I turn to close my locker and avoid his eyes as I walk away from him. The bell rings echoing through the slowly filling halls. I walk with my head down and my long black hair covering my head. I've never been able to afford to get it cut.

The rest of the day the same awkwardness surrounds the atmosphere. My hands shudder every now and then. It was worse than normal. What was going on today?  I can't remember the name of the boy who had spoke to me earlier but when I see him in the halls his eyes follow me. It scares me.

I start walking home through the fall trees that separates my house and the school. I hear someone shout my name though.

"Georgia!" I turn slowly feeling my nervousness make my hand shake. He was walking toward me again. I want to turn and walk away but he would follow. I hug my arms to my chest to attempt to block the cold winds. The jacket covering my arms had holes and was worn thin.