I'm afraid to love you back...

Chapter 11

Chapter eleven

"Should we wake her?" Tyler's voice slips through the haze of my light sleep. I was too tired to open my eyes so I chose to just stay where I was.

"No. She is tired. I'm going to carry her up to my room," I think that's Josh's voice but before I can register what is being said I'm hoisted into the air bridle style. My eyes snap open and I thrash. Josh looks surprised.

"Put me down," I demand angrily but he grins shaking his head. I try kicking him but he starts running up his steps into the door Kyle was holding open. I shriek and hold on for dear life. He spins around when we enter his kitchen and I let a laugh escape.

"Josh!" His mother says and he faces her. I actually have to look down at her because he was so tall. I feel my cheeks heat up and my hair falls around my face hiding it.

"What?" He asks at her angry face. I giggle a little and her face immediately pulls into a smile.

"Your friends are in the back. Please don't break anything. Also Camille and Amy want to know if they can join you guys until they have to go to bed," she says. Kyle and Tyler slip past us snickering and go towards the back. I look around the gorgeous kitchen. The walls were painted a light blue and the counters were carrying colors of light brown. It looked really nice. It was also clean unlike ours at home.

Josh looks at me, "You want Camille to come back with us?"

"Yeah," I say smiling. He still hasn't let me down his strong arms wrapped tightly around me.

"Ok. You can send them out mom," he says turning us towards the door leading towards the living room.

"Bye jacky," I say looking over my shoulder. She smiles at me winking before we step into the familiar living room.

"You are so adorable," he says kissing my cheek as we walk outside. I brace myself for a hit of cold air but instead I'm met with the sounds of splashing and music. There was a pool in the center of a large glass shelter area. There were chairs and tables on the cement surrounding the pool.

"You want to go for a swim?" Josh asks whispering in my ear. I panic.

"I can't swim," I quickly say but it isn't why I didn't want To get in the water. I didn't want them to see the bruises or scars.

It was too late though. I grabbed onto him and as he tried to throw me in he lost his balance throwing both of us in. I gasp for air before we fall in. The freezing water surrounds me and I'm suddenly unable to breathe. I thrash angrily trying to get some air.

Images flash through my head of my dad before he forced my head into the toilet. Water filled my lungs and just as I'm about to pass out he would pull me out wait for me to regain my breath and then put me under. Except for this time I know there is no one to pull me out.

As soon as I inhale a bunch of water Josh pulls me out from under. He holds me as I sputter and cough water out of my lungs.

"George?" He asks and I look up at him my hair sticking to my face. He looks scared.

"I can't swim," I murmur laying my head against his chest. He breathes a sigh of relief. My feet don't touch the bottom but his do and he supports the both of us. The music was so loud that barely anyone even noticed what happened which was a relief.

"I'm sorry," he says and I laugh a little. He helps me out and I put my arms around myself shivering.

"You okay?" Camille asks sitting next to me with Amy. I smile at her reassuringly. I was shaking from both the cold and the memory. That was one of the first days after my mother died. He wasn't very drunk then just blindly putting all his anger and mourning into hurting me. Eventually he numbly did it. Hit me when he got home just because he was so used to it even the smallest feeling would send him off.

"Let's go get you some different clothes," Josh says pulling me to my feet. He has his arms wrapped around me tightly trying to keep me warm. We walk up his stairs and go into the first room on his right.

It was painted a dark red a large king sized bed in the middle with posters of different sports player on his walls. His room was surprisingly neat. He had large wooden desk on the opposite wall next to a door I assumed was his closet. He also had a nightstand stacked high with books next to it.

He sits me down on his black spinning desk chair as he steps into the closet. I shiver harder putting my head in my hands. Why did I come tonight?

"Sam gave me your swimsuit to put on under the clothes," Josh says stepping back out of the closet. He must sense that I was having a rough time because he kneels next to me gently pulling my hands from my head, "I'm really sorry George. I promise I won't force you to do anything else you don't want to."

"It's fine. It just brought back memories I didn't particularly want to remember," I mumble not meeting his eyes.

"Your dad?" I don't respond, "George you are allowed to talk to me. I just want to be there for you. I want to help."

"Yeah. I kn-know," I stutter the cold getting to me. He smiles gently letting me stand and handing me a pair of sweats and a sweatshirt. I step into the closet and put them on. It was really warm and smelled like him. I pull my hair back since it was still wet.

"do you want to go join the others?" He asks and I nod. He pulls me into a warm embrace quickly, "I don't think you know how much I enjoy seeing you wear my sweatshirt."

It was about three times the size of me and hung around me like a dress but I wasn't going to complain. He kisses my forehead before grabbing my hand and leading me down the stairs. We step back outside where most everyone is out but a couple or two.

"Finally! I want to play a game," Kyle whines along with Tyler. Josh rolls his eyes and sits down in a chair pulling me on to his lap. I felt so small sitting there.

"What do you want to play?" He asks Tyler and he looks excited.

"Truth or dare?" Sam suggests sitting next to Josh and I with Jaron. Kyle and Tyler Each also grab a chair along with a few others who weren't too busy making out.

"You okay with that?" Josh asks me and I nod eagerly. I nod appreciating the fact he asked me first.

"I'll ask first!" Kyle shouts and Camilla sits on the ground next to me. Amy sits with her and they chat quietly waiting for their turn. Kyle turns and asks Tyler, "truth or dare."

"Truth," he mutters and the game begins.