I'm afraid to love you back...

Chapter 18

Chapter eighteen

I didn't let Camille come home. It has been a few weeks now since I've seen her or anyone except my father. He was still having his fun with me. Almost every hour he punished me for going to the hospital. No it was never my fault but I didn't care. I couldn't feel almost any of it. I was still numb inside from everything.

I haven't left the house either. I haven't eaten much at all. We had a few canned things in the cupboard that I ate. I quit my job at the gas station. I ate enough to keep me alive. That's all I needed.

Now I was sitting on my bed staring out the window into the finally melting snow. I had the phone Josh gave me in my hand. He was calling me nonstop and so has Camille and Sam. They were all worried about me but I couldn't bring myself to answer.

Again it rings and I cringe waiting for my father to yell. He must be asleep because he always finds every excuse to hit me.

I look down and see the caller id is Josh. He is the one who has called the most. He is persistent I will give him that. I answer just to hear his voice.

"George? George are you okay?" His voice is filled with relief, "Georgia please don't do this. I am so scared. Camille wants to know if you are okay. Please please stop this silence. We need you to be okay. I miss you so much and I'm sorry for bringing you to the hospital. I am just so worried."

He is silent for a second waiting for a response, "Please George. I love you."

I am shocked. He loves me? How can he love me. My mom said that and she's dead. Can I let him love me? I could kill him. I could accidentally kill him. I don't deserve love.

I can't bring myself to care as I whisper back to him before hanging up, "I love you too."

Then I go to find something sharp.

I can't live anymore. I need to die. I need to get out of here. I need to stop thinking. I can't take anymore of it.

When I walk out into the hallway my father is smirking at me like he knows what I was about to do. He takes a drink of his drink and turns his head. I make my way into the kitchen to find a knife.

I recount memories of the few times I was happy. My mom chasing me around the yard as I run laughing with a wooden cooking spoon in hand. I told her it was a wand and she was the bad guy trying to steal it from me.

Next is with Camille as we did her homework. She was so beautiful. She is so so beautiful. She was getting frustrated but I tried to calm her down and explained. Her eyes brightened when she finally got it. That was a terribly long day.

Sam comes next. She was throwing clothes at me as she found them cute. She would spin around laughing in a beautiful dress. He gushing about how "absolutely gorgeous" I looked in that outfit. She was the best friend I never had.

And last is Josh. Josh on our first date to the bowling alley. He had no idea of any of what was happening. He treated me like a normal human being and it was amazing. His terrible bowling skills and his brilliant smile. It had been amazing.

Tears leak from my eyes as I do the first cut. Blood appears in the path of the knife. It wasn't deep enough to kill me yet. I close my eyes and prepare for the next.

"George stop," the door is kicked open and two people come storming in. Josh is in the lead and he runs towards me taking the knife from my hands. He pulls me to him and I sob against him. He cradled my head in his chest and runs his hand along my back.

"I'm so sorry," I murmur into his shirt. He holds me and I can finally feel again. I hurt too much and I feel so guilty for leaving Josh. I am hurting him so much for no reason. I am hurting myself more than I should be.

"I thought I told you to stay away from him," my father's scratchy drunken voice breaks through my thoughts. I grit my teeth not being able to bear the thought of him anymore. I was tired of dealing with it. I turn away from Josh and glare at the man who is my father.

"Get out. Get out of this house right now," I growl at him. He looks a little shocked but a cruel smile spreads across his lips.

"What makes you think you can talk to me that way?" He growls back reaching behind his back. When he pulls out a gun the air in the room gets thick. He steps towards me the gun pointed directly at my head, "I gave you a house. I gave you food. Your mother did everything for you."

He steps closer until he is directly in front of me and the gun is touching my forehead, "And you tell me to get out of my own house? You're the most ungrateful child ever. You murder your mother and repay by being disrespectful. You don't deserve to live."

The safety clicks off and I prepare myself. Now I didn't want to die. I finally could see clearly. I wasn't clouded by hatred anymore. I had so much to be grateful for.

"No!" A girl's voice roars and suddenly the gun wasn't on me. I open my eyes and look on the floor where Camille had tackled him. I gasp and go to pull her back but the gun goes off. One of the bodies go still. I stare in shock as he rises. He throws Camille's body to the side blood on his face.

"And you call me a murder," I tell him angrily. He snarls pointing the gun back at me. I can't process the thought of Camille being dead. She doesn't deserve to be dead.

"Put the gun down!" A voice shouts from the doorway. I look to see an officer standing there. I look back at my father and he quickly aims and pulls the trigger