I'm afraid to love you back...

Chapter 6

Chapter 6

When I wake up I am overwhelmed with the sweet aroma of what smelled like brownies. I didn't open my eyes at first feeling as though there were weights on my eyelids but when I did I saw Josh pacing in front of a tv. I sit up a little not recognizing my surroundings.

The room had light blue walls and brown hardwood floors. There was a tv mounted on the wall in front of the couch I was lying on. There were two windows on the left wall and a doorway that looked like it led into the kitchen to my right. There was a fancy rug with blue flowers sewn into the tan in front of me on the floor. I saw pictures on the walls of what looked mostly of a little girl and Josh at different ages.

"You're awake," Josh looks relieved as he appears next to me. I was puzzled not quite remembering how I got here. I remember going into first class but I don't remember much after that. I knew I had a panic attack but I wasn't quite sure what happened. Did everyone see me?

"Where am I?" I ask fear running through my veins. Was Camille home alone? What time was it? Did they see the bruises and scars? What was happening? I look at him, "Where's Camille?"

"She's upstairs with Amy. Are you okay?" I pull my knees towards me and he sits next to me. I instinctively lean towards him.

"What happened?" I ask instead of replying. He gives me a strange look.

"I'm not quite sure. Sam said you looked pretty scared during first period. She followed you to the bathroom but came to get me because you wouldn't come out. You were crying and moaning. You don't remember any of this?" He asks and I shake my head. At least no one else saw. I pushed all thoughts into the back of my throbbing head and close my eyes again.

"Thank you," I murmur and he wraps an arm around me. His touch wasn't scaring me anymore. I curled up against him pulling the blanket I previously had been covered with over me to help me stop shivering.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asks quietly after a while. I jump as I hear a timer go off. He looks worried.

"I can't," I murmur looking at my hands. I wanted to tell him so bad. I wanted to tell him and be safe in his arms but that wasn't what I deserved. I deserved the pain that came to me daily. The happiness that I felt today wasn't good. That is why I was reminded of the accident. That is why I had a panic attack. I didn't deserve to be happy. But I could tell pushing Josh away was only hurting him. How was I supposed to leave him when it caused the both of us so much pain? It was even worse than the abuse sometimes.

"I understand. I just want to help you," he says but when he tries to smile it falls from his face. He looks so worried. I have to look away.

"You're awake," a middle aged woman who had almost identical brown eyes as Josh walks In. She had long brown curls that were pulled back. She also had glasses that she pushes up with as she stood there.

"Georgia this is my mom," Josh says and we both stand. I shake her hand lightly a little nervous from the skin to skin contact.

"Hi Mrs. Grovix," I murmur and she smiles

"Call me Jacky. And it is only ms now," she says kindly. I see no hint of sadness in her eyes and I remember back to what Josh told me. This beautiful woman was abused. My heart ached for her.

She seems to scan me with her eyes before turning to her son, "Josh go get the mail or something. I need to have a word with Georgia."

He begins to protest but she gives him a pointed look. My hands tremble and the black brace slides down my hand a little. Josh exits the room before she motions for me to sit down next to her. I do so stiffly.