Finally Feeling Wanted

Spoken Truths

I never realized how easily I was to read.. If my therapist could know all those things just by how I sat in her office or in the waiting room, how much could Demi tell about me? I was lost in my thoughts all the way home; It was not until I Demi got my attention that I realized we were home. Her face wore a concerned look and I could only imagine the questions she had. Before I could even comprehend what I was doing I heard a voice.

"Am I easy to read?"  It took her surprised expression to realize the strange voice was actually my own voice. 

'What? What do you mean by that dear?" I could tell I had confused her but the act of speaking also had created a sense of joy. Her voice wavered between surprised, concerned and relieved. 

"I mean, the way I am, am I someone who is easy to read? Can you tell what I think?" I did not understand why she did not understand. I though I was being pretty clear in what I was talking about. 

"Annabelle, you are actually the quite opposite. I know that some terrible things have happened to you by the way you act with affection and the way to study people. I know you dont trust easily as its taken this long to even hear your voice. I know that you are starting to learn to trust slowly though. The way you are around me proves it. Its small but its progress. I can tell that you are strong minded and have barriers built very tall to not let anyone know the true you, trauma and not. But you are so stubborn in the way you show your emotions or thoughts. You dont show your feelings, or voice any issues. Its very hard to figure out what you're thinking. You have a stoic facade that is so so so difficult to read. I try to find ways to figure out if you even like me or my cooking." She jokes at the end. I could tell she means every word. Maybe in ways I am both easy and hard to read. Did she really think I didn't like living with her? Was I too difficult? She interrupts my thoughts, "Do not overthink. I love you so much. I want the absolute best for you and you are forever mine. No matter how long you need to fully trust me, I am never leaving you. I do not know half of the things you have been through, but I know it has caused a lot of pain for you." She smiles at me. "I just hope that this talking thing  continues. I love the sound of your voice babe"

I look up at her with tearful eyes, "I love you. And I love living with you" I whisper out to her. Her smile widens as she leans over to the passenger seat and kisses my forehead. I usually retreat back, refusing most physical contact but I let her today. I dont know why, but all I know is that I loved it. 

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Hey guys! I dont know if anyone even reads this anymore but I finally updated. I have been so busy with college and everything but I took the time today to write. I dont know when the next update will be. I will try my best to continue writing as I have remembered why I loved it so much! 

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