Blood Ties, Breath Secrets

Chapter Fourteen

From one side, a skinny blonde guy with his red and blue gasses askew emerged.

From the other, a tall black-haired boy with a purple streak in his hair came through.

They also noticed each other immediately (completely ignoring Dave and Vriska).

Vriska leaned in and whispered in his ear, "The tall guy is Eridan- he's dating Feferi, who used to be dating Sollux. They hate each other so much it's almost sexy."

Dave gaped at her. 

"Okay, it's also bad because they're going to beat each other to death."

Sollux twisted his lips into a snarl, exposing very sharp canines. Eridan narrowed his odd purple eyes at his rival, hands curling into fists.

"What the h-ll are you doing here, dirtlicker?" growled Eridan. "Hoping that Feferi might take you back? That she wouldn't mind dating bipolar landweller scum?"

"Actually, I figured I would rescue her from her genocidal boyfriend. You know, stop the limp-dicked loser that calls himself Eridan from giving her one of the nasty diseases he got from Spiderb--ch."

"Who's Spiderb--ch?" asked Dave as he and Vriska slunk into some bushes near the clearing. Eridan and Sollux were too busy hating each other to notice the people they'd originally come there to look for.

Vriska snarled, staring at Sollux with murder in her eyes. "Spiderb--ch is a nickname that brainless idiots like Sollux made up for me. He only said the disease thing because I hooked up with Eridan one time! One-"

She tried to yell at Sollux, but Dave slapped a hand over her mouth in order to save them from death-by-angry-boy. 

"Do you want to get us killed? Those two are clearly out for blood!"

Vriska looked nervous at Dave's harsh words- then an expression much stronger than nervousness flitted across her face. "You're right, Dave. We have to stop it."

"How? Call the others?"

"No way!" she gasped frantically. "That'll just make the fighting worse. No, there's only one person who can mediate between them- and I really doubt you're going to be happy when you find out who it is."

Dave's face paled- he thought he knew who Vriska was about to say.

AG: karkaaaaaaaat! we need you

CG: WHAT DO YOU WANT YOU C-MLICKING SPIDERSLUT

AG: sollux and eridan are fighting. the only one who can break it up is you.

CG: GOD D-MN ALL YOU B-ST-RDS TO H-LL
CG: ILL BE RIGHT OVER

Vriska showed Dave the screen of her phone and the chat it contained with a spider's smile. "You may not be happy about it, but Karkat will be able to fix things."

"And afterwards, if he severs my testicles from my body?"

She shrugged. "Collateral damage. Just wait here- Karkat should be here soon." Dave sighed heavily, wrapping his hands around his body. That was exactly what he was bracing himself for. 

They watched the argument in silence- both sides trading insults like "Creepy eyed b-st-rd" and "Fish smelling ballsack"- but no blows actually landing just yet. What seemed like an eternity (but was probably about ten minutes) went on before Karkat arrived.

And he arrived with a bang. 

"What are you miserable s--tlickers doing now? Fighting again? Haven't you pulled your heads out of your a--es long enough to realize that it isn't going to fix anything?" He burst into the clearing, red eyes burning and hair blazing, pushing Sollux and Eridan apart.

"Sol, you do know that you have Aradia. No need to get your panties in a knot over an ex-girlfriend when you have a perfectly nice piece of -ss to yourself." Sollux, a bit miffed by the sudden arrival of his friend, nodded sheepishly. 

"And Eri, for f--k's sake, you have Feferi! She doesn't give a glub about Sollux anymore, so why are you so worried? Beating the s--t out of her ex won't make her like you any more. If anything, it'll make things even worse." 

Eridan glared at Sollux for a moment, but he too turned his eyes to the ground and nodded.

"Now get your a--es back to your friends before something terrible happens." Karkat growled. His anger was such a force to be reckoned with that Sollux and Eridan didn't even question how he seemingly appeared out of nowhere just to curb their fight.

"I have some business to attend to on my own." He said to no one in particular...

...before turning to look at the bushes where Vriska and Dave were hidden.

Dave felt himself freeze as Karkat drew closer and closer.