Blood Ties, Breath Secrets

Chapter Twenty

It turns out Dave didn't need to go inside Jade's house- she was outside, working in the garden as usual. He thought she had never looked more beautiful with a wide-brimmed hat on her head and dirt smeared on her cheeks.

He walked up slowly, trying to keep quiet so as not to startle her. At the risk of sounding like a creepy stalker... Dave was grateful to see her, to watch her. He figured that he wouldn't have a chance to see her like this for a long time.

Apparently, though, he wasn't quiet enough because Jade heard him. She looked up, green eyes bright with excitement until they rested on him.

"Dave?" Jade asked in a shaky voice. "What are you doing here? I thought-" Her voice broke momentarily, but she quickly started to speak again. "I thought I told you to go away. I don't want to see you anymore."

"I know," He pleaded. "But we need to talk. There are some things I want to say."

Jade's lips curled in an expression of distaste. "Unless what you want to say is 'I never kissed John', I don't want to hear it." She dropped her gardening tools and stood up straight, looking him dead in the eyes. "I don't think you realize what you've done, Dave, or all the people you've hurt."

"I do." He said- not crying, not desperate, just calm. His sudden change in demeanor surprised Jade, made her pause for a moment. Dave took this time to speak.

"Jade, I know that I messed up. I did a stupid thing... and I hurt a lot of people. Honestly, I know that someone like you doesn't deserve someone like me. I'm a jerk, an idiot. I keep secrets and lash out and kiss people I shouldn't. I'm far from the kind of person you deserve and I don't have anything to offer you."

She raised one dark eyebrow, looking at him quizzically. "This is making it sound like I should just break up with you right now. How is it going to help you?"

Dave's voice was heavy when he spoke again. "It isn't."

"Huh?"

"I told you, Jade, I don't deserve you. I'm telling you why you should leave me right now and never speak to me again."

Jade narrowed her eyes suspiciously as she walked towards Dave. "I thought you came here to apologize, not to beat yourself up in front of me. This isn't fixing anything."

He shook his head. "It is. I'm letting you go. That's the right thing to do."

She gave him a long look, eyes glittering for a moment with unshed tears. "What if I don't want to let you go?"

He stepped back suddenly, surprised by the cracks in Jade's cold personality. Where was this coming from?

"I of all people know that you're an idiot. You mess up. You do stupid things. You hurt people. The thing is, Dave, that isn't all there is to you. Because even if you do something horrible, even if you ruin everything for everyone... you still try to fix it."

Dave stood there, blinking silently.

"I decided that if you came here and asked me to forgive you and promised to make things right, I would give you another chance. Maybe it's stupid- it probably is- but I can't deny that I really love you. You're brave and noble and strong."

Noble? Brave? Those weren't things to describe him.

"I see the look on your face, Dave. You may not believe me but it's true."

"Although you didn't come here asking for forgiveness! You came here telling me how much you suck. That's not what I want to hear, idiot!" Jade cried, a mixture of amusement and anger in her voice. "Do you want to be with me or not, Dave?"

"I- I do." He stammered, not believing what he was hearing. "I really do, Jade. You're incredible. You're the love of my life."

"Then why do you act so stupid around me?" She said, laughter in her voice.

"I act stupid because I love you. I don't know how to act around you- you're incredible. Just absolutely amazing. And..."

"And what?"

"And I'm also just an idiot. You're only my second try at this- I'm still figuring things out and making mistakes. Like, a lot of mistakes. Gratuitous mistakes."

Jade shook her head, but there was a tiny smile on her beautiful lips. "Maybe I'm too forgiving of you."

She paused for a moment, taking a long look at Dave.

"But I don't think so. I think you paid for your mistake- am I right?"

He nodded.

"Well, then I suppose that means you're forgiven... as long as you don't do something so airheaded again."

Dave stepped quickly towards Jade, wrapping her in a strong hug. He whispered breathlessly, "Thank you."

Looking beyond Dave's embrace, Jade saw John and Karkat holding hands. She mouthed two simple words to them- the same ones Dave was saying to her.

Thank you.