Blood Ties, Breath Secrets

Chapter Seventeen

"Listen, I think things will be okay with you and John. I'm just not sure about me and Jade..."

Karkat smirked comically. "You really did mess that one up. FIrst, Jade isn't as understanding and charming as me. Second, you don't have John's excuse of being drowsy and stupid. You did a bad thing and you knew it was a bad thing."

"The good thing is you're not denying it. All you can really do is tell Jade the truth- that you messed up and you're sorry."

"I just hope she can forgive me."

"In time, she will." Karkat said, standing up with his spine straight. "Can we see John first? I want to have him on our side when we meet the grand dragon."

"Jade is less of a dragon and more of..." He paused, trying to figure out what Jade was. "She's Jade. Beautiful and steely-strong and so sweet..."

Karkat looked at Dave for a long moment, blinking slowly. "You really love her, don't you?"

Dave nodded.

"If you love her that much, you shouldn't worry. Now let's stop procrastinating and go. I won't wait any longer to be with John."

Dave took Karkat's hand, letting himself be pulled up from the log. "Do you think the others are going to worry about us? Nepeta threw this whole party for me, after all."

Karkat laughed, a short harsh bark. "Nepeta didn't throw it for you, trust me. She just wanted an excuse to party. And for Nepeta, partying means attempting to kill s--t."

Dave tilted his head in mild confusion. "So she wasn't just trying to cheer me up?"

"Well, she probably was. Nepeta is extremely sweet despite her bloodlust. But believe me, the focus wasn't you. She'll just take any excuse to get some people together and run wild in the woods. It's like real-live roleplaying- Nep's dream come true!"

"You know she's totally into you, right?"

Karkat sighed heavily, momentarily stopping while they walked. "Oh, Dave, I wish I didn't. Because I do like her. She's hilarious! She loves rom-coms more than anyone I know, even John. Nepeta is great. It's just..."

"Your lust for c--k cannot be satisfied?" he teased.

He groaned in reply. "You aren't wrong, no. I just wish I could make her happy, but she knows I'll never like her the way she wants. I can't."

"Hey." Dave said calmly, stopping suddenly and looking at Karkat firmly. "Don't beat yourself up for this. It isn't your fault for not liking Nepeta, or not liking girls. Sometimes..." He paused. "Sometimes you want something, and you know it's wrong. You know you can't have it. You know it's impossible."

"But that doesn't stop you from wanting it."

"That doesn't make me feel any better, Dave." grumbled Karkat, who had continued ahead on the path.

Dave chased after him once he realized he was being ditched. "Wait! I wasn't done!"

"Oh, boy."

"Karkat, Nepeta knows you'll never like her in that way. She knows- and she doesn't care. Because she's happy being your friend, happy wishing and thinking and dreaming about you. Most people- they would hate that. They wouldn't be able to stand it."

"Although Nepeta isn't like most people. Nepeta just doesn't give a f--k."

"That's what I like about her." Karkat said with a sharp grin. "Thanks, Dave."

"So you won't worry about it anymore?"

He shrugged absentmindedly. "I guess so. I'll try, at least."

"Good. Now let's go reunite you with your prince." Dave said grinning.

"I wouldn't go as far to call him a prince. He's more of an heir or something. A duke. Something low-level and dorky."

"What lovely things you say about your boyfriend." Dave teased. He was relishing this easygoing friendship between him and Karkat- it was something he'd really missed, although he hadn't realized how much.

From the warmth of Karkat's smile, he sensed he'd missed it too.

They walked in silence for several more minutes, but John's house wasn't far away and they arrived their quickly. Dave noticed Karkat was trembling slightly and his shoulders were tight with fear.

"Don't worry so much, okay? John's going to be ectastic that you aren't mad at him. He missed you a lot."

"I missed him too." Karkat breathed. "I just hope I'm making the right choice."

"You are." Dave stated confidentally, right as he walked up and knocked on John's door.