Chapter Twenty Three

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"Kris?" He groaned. "It's 2 am. Are you okay? What hap-"

"I can't do this anymore."

I heard rustling on the other end of the phone like he was getting out of bed. I heard a door quickly close behind him. "What- what do you mean? Are you alright? Kris, what's wrong?"

"I- I can't-" I began to try to explain your thoughts, but how do you explain something when it doesn't even make sense to you?

"Shh, don't cry." I hadn't stopped shaking since I received that text."Just take deep breaths, okay? Calm down, I'm coming over. Are you home?"

I nodded until I realized he couldn't see me. "Yeah, I-I'm in m-my room."

I heard a car engine start. "I'm on my way. Where do you want to meet? Treehouse? Park?"

I cleared my throat. "Anywhere but here."

"Kris, what's going on?"

"I-I don't know." That's when I snapped. I stopped shaking. I stopped crying. Instead, I started convulsing. I started sobbing. I dissolved into tears. I completely let myself break, shattering into a million pieces. I let my tears freely flow into my lap as my sobs echoed throughout the vacant home. My body shook with every breath I took. Except each breath wasn't really a breath, it was a gasp. A gasp for air, a gasp for hope. I just wanted something that I could hold on to, to bring me back to who I was five months ago. I wished none of this had ever happened. With the exception of meeting Mikey and Gerard, I would rather die than relive any of the past few months. I wanted to crawl into a hole, where I would be able to cry myself until I fell asleep, and I would never wake up. 

Mikey was practically begging me to calm down. "Babe, I'll be there in five minutes. Can you wait that long?"

I couldn't stop crying as I tried to answer. Instead of telling him my answer, the words were choked out of me. "I-I I-'ll t-try." I sobbed.

"That's all you have to do. Try. It'll be okay, alright? I'm four minutes away now. I'm close to your street. I'll be there for you."

I started to calm down as he talked to me. I never fully stopped shaking or crying. But his voice was enough to give me something to hold on to.

"I'll be there in one minute. Are your doors locked?"

"Y-yeah." I croaked.

"I'm about to pull into your driveway. I'll meet you at the front door. That means you have to get up, okay? Can you do that?"

I took a deep breath. "I-I'll try."

"I'm walking to your front door now. I won't hang up until you're here with me, okay?"

I nodded and pulled myself out of my bed. As soon as I did so, I sprinted down the three flights of stairs. I wanted to move quickly, so if Daren were here he wouldn't get me. 

"Easy there, I can almost hear you running from out here." He chuckled, trying to lighten the mood.

Still on the phone with him, I undid all three locks on the door, flung it open, and launched myself into his arms. Whatever bit of myself I had pulled together crumbled away, as I immediately started sobbing in his arms.

I buried my face in the crook of his shoulder, breathing in his cologne. I couldn't even remember why I had been so scared before, I just knew that I wasn't capable of pulling myself back together. He softly stroked my arm while holding me in a tight embrace.

"Kris, it's okay." He said as I nodded. "Do you have a key? I'll lock up your house before we go."

I nodded, still not removing my face from the safety of his chest, and pulled a key from my front pocket and handed it to him. He managed to close and lock the door without letting go of me. He literally swept me off my feet to carry me to his car. "C'mon, let's get out of here." 

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