Wild Eyes {Calum Hood} #Completed

Chapter 27 - Such A Long Way Down From Here

I should probably stop apologizing for taking forever to update and just do it right? Lol. This chapter was hard for me to write. It's emotional. Enjoy :)

Davie

I think I may have paced my bedroom for the 100th time. I couldn't sit still. I couldn't think clearly. My heart and my mind were being torn in two different directions and I couldn't get them agree in the slightest.

My heart was telling me that I loved Calum. I loved him so much. And I've loved him since before my heart even knew what it was capable of. I love his smile, the crinkles by his eyes, the little dimples in his cheeks, the way his bare back looks against the sheets in the mornings. But none of it mattered, because my mind was telling me that I couldn't be with him. I couldn't be the reason he didn't take and live out every one of his dreams.

He would hold back, if he was with me. Because I know he loves me too. He wouldn't take he chances he needed and he wouldn't leave. I know he's been staying in a hotel close to campus for the passed few week, after he dropped his classes he couldn't stay in the dorms. And I know he's staying because of me. This city doesn't offer the things that LA or New York could offer someone like him, an artist on the rise of making it big.

So I had to tell him I couldn't be with him anymore. He has to leave me and go make his dreams come true. He has to do what he's been working so hard for, and not let me hold him back. Somehow I have to convince him that I don't love him. But I think that's nearly impossible.

"Davie?" I hear a light tapping on my bedroom door.

"Hey Alex." I swipe at the tears on my cheeks that I didn't notice were rolling down my cheeks.

"What's going on? You've been in here a long time." She comes into my room and plops down on the bed, rubbing her little belly through her oversized tshirt she had stolen from Ashton.

"I um..I have to break up with Calum." I almost sob, before I sit down, defeated on my bed across from her.

"What? What's he done? I told you last time this happened that I would kill him!" She starts to stand up but I grab her wrist and pull her back down.

"No, no Alex it isn't like that. I'm holding him back. He won't leave this stupid city because of me." I push my hair behind my ears, the sobs just barely staying at bay in my chest.

"And you think breaking up with him will solve all of your problems?" She asks.

"No. But it will help him go where he needs to. He's worked too hard to lose the chances he's being given."

"You're an idiot sometimes, Davie." She shakes her head at me.

"What?" I look at her confused.

"You say you're doing this for him, but this is for you. You don't want to feel guilty for his choices, because he loves you that damn much. You're going to crush him." Alex's face looks upset, and she hasn't stopped shaking her head.

"I know it will hurt him. But trying to be selfless here. Just because he loves me doesn't mean he should give up everything else."

"Don't you think you're going to regret this?" She says quietly.

"For the rest of my life." I whisper. Alex nods, before she gets up off of my bed.

"Then I hope you know what you're doing, Davie." She walks out but leaves the door open.

I barely have a chance to breathe from that conversation when there's a knock on the front door. I know it's him, and my heart can barely keeps its rhythmic beat as the reality of this sets in.