Karma ||H.S||

Chapter 30

I'm having a hard time getting out of bed this morning because,

1. I haven't slept much in the last five days.
2. It feels too early, even though it's eleven. a.m.
3. I know I have a nineteen hour drive ahead of me, 
as soon as I'm ready to go.

And although I don't want to admit it,

4. Harry still isn't here.

It's not that I don't like driving, because honestly, I'm kind of excited to start my little road trip. The thought of blasting my music down the open road with the wind in my hair, eating an endless amount of junk food and drinking more coffee than I should, is exactly the kind of medicine that I need right now. Especially knowing what my destination is; Dad.

It has been a long five days. I've been having trouble falling asleep, even though my nightmares haven't returned. But because Harry seems to have deserted his life here, for reasons unknown, the bed across the room from me has been empty, leaving me feeling just the same. I have been afraid that with his absence, my nightmares would come back, but I think deep down, what scares me the most, is how much I missed him being next to me.

I still carried around more anger about the way he left, than I felt sad about it, and as the days passed and he still didn't return, the more emotions I had to face. Five days isn't really all that long, but it is when you're going through a plethora of different emotions and end up on the completely other end of the spectrum by the end of the day.

Today is a day, that I'm apparently waking up more on the angry side than anything else. I shouldn't still be in bed. I should've left earlier. But I think part of me is hoping the longer I wait to leave, the more hope I have to see Harry if he comes back before I'm gone. I know I'm just setting myself up for more disappointment, but it seems that's what I'm good at these days, so why not just add to it?

"Are you coming back for New Years?" Nova asks, as she sits on her suitcase trying to zip it up. There's so much stuff in there, I'm pretty sure she's packed our entire dorm inside of it, by the way it's bursting at the seams.

"I'm not sure yet," I answer, finally sitting up in bed. "I guess it depends on what's going on. The last time I saw some of my family, it didn't really end well, so depending on how high the awkwardness is, I might come back early."

"Well, I hope you do!" she exclaims. "There's going to be a huge party! It wont be the same without you!"

I shake my head, rolling my eyes at her, knowing that a party wouldn't miss me, and Nova probably wouldn't either.

"Well, I'm off," she states. "Don't want to be miss our flight." She walks over to hug me a tight hug goodbye before looking at me square in the eye, with her hand on my shoulder. "Things with Harry will work out. He'll be back after the holidays and he'll have a good explanation for all of this. Just have a good Christmas and don't let it bother you anymore."

I nod, not knowing what to say, and as I watch her leave the room, I know it's time for me to get out of bed and shower, so that I can actually get out of here at a decent hour.

I'm happy that I packed up all my things last night, now that I've procrastinated a lot longer than I should have. My phone plays it's usual Halsey song, as I make my way down the hallway with my suitcase rolling behind me.

"Hey Dad," I say, when I answer. "I'm just about to leave."

"You haven't left yet?" He asks. "You were supposed to leave four hours ago."

"It's fine, I'll still be there tomorrow. It doesn't matter what time."

"Well, there's been a change of plans, and we're going to Victoria for a week to stay at Rachel's," he tells me.