Karma ||H.S||

Chapter 36

There's something amazing about being on campus when there's hardly a soul around. It's quiet and peaceful, adding to the already safe feeling I have felt since Harry and I left Vancouver. I feel like I can breathe properly again, being back here. And to think that there's no one around to interrupt some much needed time alone with Harry, no questions to be answered right now about where he was before the holidays and how we got back together. It makes being here with him even better. After everything that's happened with us, this time is needed, and I am going to enjoy it.

Coming back here this time around, it's very clear to me how much things have changed since the first time I got here. The transition into the person I am now has been hard, but it's more than noticeable to me now that I have left and come back. It's hard to look back and remember the person I was the first time I set foot on this campus. How afraid of everything I was. How small I felt. So unaware, that everything I ever needed, was going to be looking me straight in the face and help me overcome my fears and become so important to me, without him even having to try.

I wondered if, after we left Vancouver and I had opened up a little bit to Harry about the life I lived there, if he could sense that things had shifted within me. Because, as afraid as I was, just being in the city and apparently having to face my past in the smallest of ways, being able to leave the way I did, caused a wave of confidence to flow through me. I don't know if telling Harry a small portion of the truth helped me feel this way, but I can feel the change in me so strongly that I'm sure he can tell there is something slightly different about me.

I feel lighter and happier and self-assured, much like the person I remember being, once upon a time.

Despite having this new found sense of being, so many questions were circulating in my head after seeing Ivy and Hunter. Were they lying about Ryan? Although none of it really mattered anymore, because I am here and they don't know where that is, I still couldn't stop myself from wondering about it all. Hunter claims that Ryan is still looking for me. It doesn't surprise me in the least. Ryan had other girls before me, but for some reason he stuck to me like glue and wanted me around a lot longer than any other girl he'd previously had. Even if he had some other girl, he'd probably be looking for me for a while. The only thing I need to do, is stay away from Vancouver for as long as possible, and I'll be safe. He has to forget about me eventually, right? 

One can only hope.

But I don't want to think about Ryan. I don't want to think about my run in with Hunter and Ivy, and the last thing I want to do, is question anything. I don't need to think about them, now that I'm back in California where I'm safe. I'm safe here with Harry and he's all that I want to surround myself with. I want to absorb my every thought into him. Breathe him in the way I always do, hold him closer than I ever have before and show him how certain I am, that with everything I am, I trust him and I'm ready to show him that without letting anything falter. 

Because, unlike everything else in my life, with Harry, I know I don't have to ask questions anymore. With all the ups and downs that we've been through, knowing how we fall back together every time we fall apart, gives me a sense that there's a reason for it all. There's a reason we always find our way back to each other, because every time, we come out stronger than we were before, and I can't help but think it's because we are meant to be together.

He makes me a better person in all the right ways, and I know that I do the same for him. He stuck by me and was there each step of the way. All the while, without even realizing it, we were proving to each other that no matter what, everything we've done since meeting each other, was so we could get to this particular moment. A moment where I'm not afraid anymore. A moment where he's not having to try to win my trust. It's a moment where we're together simply because it's the only place we want to be.