Karma ||H.S||

Chapter 40

Despite the fact that I am despising being back in Vancouver, Dad kept his promise and took time off during my spring break. And because our visit at Christmas wasn't all that great, it was a must that I come home to spend this much needed time with him.

The last thing I want to be doing right now, is saying goodbye to Harry. Just thinking I wont be with him every single day for the next two weeks—well, it just sucks. We've made plans to make plans over the break, but nothing is set in stone at the moment. We're at least giving each other a few days with our families until we see each other again, making it that much harder to say goodbye to him. 

"You're going to have to get out of the car eventually, Paise," Harry laughs. We've been parked in front of my Dad's house by the woods for fifteen minutes now. And he's right. I need to let him go home. You would think that after spending nineteen hours driving, I'd be happy to get out and leave this damn vehicle. But no, I don't want for him to leave. "I'm going to miss the next ferry if I don't leave soon, and I really don't want to wait another three hours."

He steps out of the car and starts getting my luggage out of the trunk and I groan as I slowly follow suit, getting some things out of the back seat. When all my stuff is sitting next to the curb, I can't help but swing my arms around his neck and I instantly feel his arms pull me in close to him, rubbing my back in the process.

"I miss you already," I sigh. I don't care how pathetic I sound. I don't care if he thinks I'm being crazy, because the ache I feel in my chest is real, and I don't want to watch him drive away. Ever since we had sex for the first time two weeks ago, we've been extremely close. Closer than I ever thought was imaginable. I had let him in completely. And the fact that just by allowing myself to be this way with him a few times, the progress of getting better was a success, and in the process, I had exceeded my own expectations.  

"I miss you too, love," he whispers. "We'll see each other soon though, I promise. I'll come here and we'll do something fun, or you could come to the island, you know."

"I know," I sigh again.

His lips meet mine, in a slow and passionate kiss as his hand cups my face. The world around us seems to fade away every time he kisses me this way, and I allow myself to lose myself in him for the last time in longer than I'm used to. When his lips part from mine, he looks at me, gently brushing his thumb across my cheek. His eyes flick back and forth between mine and a small smile graces his lips. He looks incredible and I don't want to take my eyes off of him, knowing he'll be leaving in a matter of minutes.

"I love you," I breathe out.

These three words have still only come out of my mouth once to him before this moment, because as much as I want to say it every single day, I don't want to hear the silence that follows. I told him he didn't have to say it back to me, because it didn't matter if he didn't feel that way about me yet. But truth be told, as fine as I was about it, there was still a tiny bit of hurt inside of me, that he wouldn't tell me he feels the same way about me. I really thought that at some point over the last two weeks since I said it to him, that he would tell me he's fallen in love with me too, but the words haven't come out of his mouth. 

It doesn't mean that I don't feel it, because there has not been a day that has went by that I don't feel the way he feels about me. I can feel it in the way he looks at me, in the way he kisses me and touches me and how he even holds my hand. But I'm not going to try and force the words to come out of his mouth if he doesn't want them to. The fact that I can feel it, is more than enough for me.

As much hope as I had that he would say it back this time, all he can do is kiss me. I wont allow myself to feel disappointed though. I will take his lips on mine, as his way of saying he loves me, because this kiss is so intense and deep that I can feel my toes tingle.