A Shot In The Dark

Chapter 33

"That's not what we're talking about right now." Rocky waved away the paternity test like it was nothing. "I'm more worried about the fact that you tried to kill yourself."

"I didn't try. I was thinking about it." I looked away.

Blake shot me a look. "You were about to jump when I got there. You were done thinking."

"You stopped her?" Rocky turned to Blake.

"I convinced her not to jump then saved her when she fell." He rubbed his eyes.

The color drained from Rocky's face. "Are you hurt?" He kneeled down in front of me and took my hands. "Look at me, baby. Are you hurt?"

I stared into his eyes. "I'm fine. My ribs hurt a little, but I'm fine." I gestured to Blake. "If he wasn't there I would be a lot worse."

"Thank you." Rocky looked at Blake. "Thank you for saving her."

Blake shrugged. "I'm just glad I could convince her not to."

I saw the cuts all over Blake's hands. "Are those from when I fell?"

"How high were you up? Where were you going to jump from? How did you fall?" Rocky was full of questions.

"I was on a cliff looking out over the ocean." I admitted. "Blake's right. I was going to jump until he showed up. He convinced me to come back to you. When I went to move away from the edge, the rock I was standing on fell and I fell with it ten feet. I was dangling on a rock when Blake climbed down and helped me. He got me back to the top."

"How high was the jump?" He squeezed my hand.

"At least forty feet." Blake answered.

Rocky sighed and rested his head on my knees. "Why were you gonna do it?"

I let a tear fall. "I can't handle it anymore, Rocky. Everything is just so stressful. I don't know how to handle anything anymore."

"That's why I'm here. I'm suppose to help you through it." He pulled me into him for a hug. "And if I can't help you we can get you someone who can."

"I'm not going to a therapist." I argued. "You can't make me."

"Then you need to start talking to me about these things. You can't keep bottling them up. What pushed you to the point where you wanted to jump?"

"You not trusting me." I cried harder. "It doesn't matter what I do or say. You always assume the worse. I don't think we can be together anymore, Rocky."

"Don't say that." His voice started shaking. "I can change. I'll start listening. Please don't say that."

"You've said that before. I can't be with someone who doesn't trust me. I need someone who's going to be on my side."

His eyes started watering. "I can be that person. I just need another chance."

"I've given you too many chances. I think this is what I need right now."

He wiped his eyes. "Are you sure it's what you really want?"

I shook my head. "No, but I have to take a shot in the dark on this one. I just need some time."

He glanced over at Blake who was awkwardly sitting there. "Is this because of him?"

"Yes. He made me realize that I can't keep living my life how I was. I need to change. I need to try and be happy."

"With him?"

"With myself. My kids need me right now. I can't be in a relationship." I got up and started walking away. I looked back at Rocky who was frozen in the same spot on the floor. "I still love you, Rocky. I just need time alone for a while."