Secret of The Journals |Bill Cipher|

Dipper's Guide to the Unexplained: The Mailbox

"Welcome back to Dipper's Guide to the Unexplained. Today we talk about #54, the mailbox." Dipper says as he shows a rusty old mailbox just sitting in the middle of the forest by itself.
"There it is, in the middle of the forest. No house. No address. Today, my team of experts-"

Soos walks by the mailbox as he was wearing a lab coat and googles. Priya also comes next to the mailbox but she was just wearing regular clothes.

"Sup." Soos says to the camera.

"Soos and I are going to put a letter in the mailbox and see who picks it up." Priya explains, looking at the camera.

"My letter posits a salient question." Soos informs as he shows the letter that says 'Sup Dawg'. He puts the letter inside the mailbox and closes it and gives a thumbs up to Dipper.

"Now we are gonna hide behind a bush and wait for someone to come by-"

"Uhh Dipper?!" Priya cries out fearfully as the mailbox starts to shake violently by itself. The three of them back away in shock as the flag on the mailbox moves up by itself and stops shaking.

"Woah, did you see that?" Priya ask in awe as Dipper runs over to the mailbox.

"Open it." Dipper whispers to Soos.

"No you open it dude. I'm not touching a ghost mailbox." Soos says.

"Okay, okay." Dipper says as he slowly opens it. He takes out a folded paper that had a wax stamp on it.

"What?" Dipper questions.

"That's not our letter!!" Priya says in shock while Dipper unfolds it.

"It says...." Dipper travels off as his eyes grow wide. Priya runs over to Dipper and grabs the letter from him, her eyes growing wide as well.

"Hello Dipper, Soos, and Priya." Priya reads from the letter.

"It knows our names!" Dipper cries out in shock.

"What if this thing is all-knowing?" Soos questions them.

"We gotta test it." Priya says determinately.

~*~*~*~

Soos holds out a letter that he wrote that says, 'What did I shave into my head this morning?'
He runs over to the mailbox and places it inside and closes the door. It shakes violently as the flag lifts up by itself again. Soos opens up the door and takes out a letter and unfolds it.

"A baby duck holding a paddleball.
Dude it knew." Soos breathes out in shock as he takes off his cap to reveal on the back of his head a duck holding a paddleball.

"What?!" Dipper and Priya question in shock.

"Ask it more questions!" Priya encourages, eyes twinkling in curiosity.

~*~*~*~

"When is the end of the world?" Priya ask as she writes it down on a piece of paper and puts it in the mailbox.

~*~*~*~

"3012. Okay cool, we got awhile." Priya mumbles when reading the new letter from the mailbox.

~*~*~*~

"Who's my dream woman?" Soos ask as he places his letter into the mailbox.

~*~*~*~

"Woah ho! Hot Tamales!" Soos says as he holds out a picture of a woman with huge muscles.

"Saving that for the archives." He adds as he puts the paper in his pocket.

~*~*~*~

Dipper was by the mailbox as he was thinking about a question for the mailbox.

"Uh...what's the exact time of my death-"

"Did aliens built the pyramids?" Soos cuts in.

"Or what's the meaning of life-"

"Who wrote The Journal #3?!" Priya cuts in, smiling brightly.

"Yeah Priya! Let's do that Dipper!" Soos says happily.

"We are finally gonna get the answer to the greatest mystery of Gravity Falls!" Dipper says, smiling as he writes down the question while Mabel walks in, standing next to the mailbox.

"Nifty, a mailbox! I've been waiting to mail mom a video of me sticking 100 gummy worms up my nose!" Mabel says as she puts a small package inside the mailbox.

"No wait!" Priya, Soos, and Dipper say in unison to Mabel. Suddenly, the mailbox shakes and the flag moves upwards as Priya opens up the door and takes out a letter.

"Your gummy worm video has disturbed and insulted me. You fools are unworthy of my great knowledge. The era of human and enlightenment shall never come to pass." Priya reads it as she frowns. Suddenly, the mailbox starts to glow blue as it begins to shake violently.

"Uhh what's that?!" Soos cries out. The twins, Soos and Priya scream as they run away from the mailbox as it explodes.

~*~*~*~

Soos, Priya and the twins were standing in front of the camera with their skins and their clothes were burnt.

"Uh, well that concludes Dippers Guide to the Unexplained, where we learned when dealing with the unknown, DO NOT MAIL VIDEOS OF YOU SHOVING GUMMY WORMS UP YOUR NOSE!" Dipper yells to Mabel in agitation.

"Theres more with that came from!" Mabel says as she holds out a packet of gummy worms. She rummages through the bag and takes out a gummy worm and looks at the camera.

"Into my nose! Into my nose!" Mabel says happily, bringing the gummy worm close to her nose.

"No no!" Priya cries out as she runs up to the camera and turns it off.