The Only Hope For Me Is You

Chapter 15

"So, have you shot someone?"

"Frannie, I just smoke. I'm not a thug, criminal, or part of a gang." Erika said, blowing a puff of smoke and then inhaling it. I had a raging war with my lungs in order not to cough.

Frank started laughing,"Fran, you look like you're constipated. Just breathe!"

I let out the breath I was long holding in and started coughing. "Man, I'm sorry but I'll never get used to this. The smell is gross."

"That's what we all say at first. Just wait until you try it." Sergio said, recieving daggers from Erika. "What woman? It's the truth. Pshh, you were the first one to fall hard."

"Shut up! No I wasn't! At least I wasn't the one that brought it from the alien planet that you came from!"

He stared in shock. "Oh! That is so racist! It's always the foreigner. Anyways, you'll fall Frannie. We all do."

"Nah, my dad used to smoke. I never got used it." I replied simply. I remember coming home from school to my dad's usual scent of cigarettes and spearmint gum.

"Used to? He quit?" asked Ray. I fidgeted in my spot on the rock, staring fixatedly at the hem of my skirt so as not to meet any of their eyes. I loathe being so weak.

"Yeah, I guess you could say that." I said quietly. "So how long have you guys been doing this? Haven't you heard 'Crack is Whack'?"

They chuckled. "Well, I don't really remember much how we started. I'd say around the beginning of high school. We didn't know he hell we were getting ourselves into but then we got hooked. You gotta be more open minded, man. How do you know how terrible it is if you don't try it?" Frank said.

"Frank, stop it. There's not one day I don't regret jumping on the bandwagon. If I could, I'd give it all back." Erika said.

"Erika...can't you just quit?" I asked reproachfully.

She sighed and said,"I've tried. Yes, I can't go one day without regretting it, but it's twice as worse if I don't have it."

"Have you asked for help?"

She snorted. "Please, as if. First thing they'll do is put me in one of those rehabilitation centers. Nuh-uh. No way is anyone taking me alive." She took a long drag off her cigarette.

How could someone live with the submission? It's like being chained to a post you're forced to have to carry around with you. For the first time, I felt pity for this bright, contagiously happy girl. She doesn't deserve that. I remained quiet for the rest of the conversation.

Gerard's POV

Why does Frannie exasperate me so much? I just met her yesterday and she's all I've been thinking about. Why though? Why!? What is she to me? She's left-handed, short, skinny, a dark frizzy-haired freak with overly-large eyes and dull brown eyes! She doesn't appreciate me, she's bipolar, and so self-centered. And the way she worms into my head is just creepy. But yet...

 I pounded my fist against my thigh. What is going on in the world? Just last week I'd been costantly living through routine, one monotony over another. I'd wake up, go to school, eat, bathe, and then go to sleep to replay it all over again. Her appearance into my life was like that meteor that came crashing down and wiped out the entire dinosaur population. The first time I saw her she was walking next to my brother and I actually thought they'd make a cute couple. Mikey doesn't like her though...I know him, that would be twisted. That's not his type! He wouldn't dare! But does she like him? They do know each other more than Frannie and I know each other...

Just the way she looks at me as if she doesn't take me seriously, the way she bites the bottom of her lip when she thinks, the smiles she grants you if you're lucky enough to recieve them, the way her hair changes color when the light of the sun hits it, her hearty contagious laugh, just everything, is enough to make me puke. This girl sickens me. She's revolting. It's disgusting. I think I like her.

Frannie's POV

As much as I don't agree with their ways, I can't help but feel indebted to them. They let me into their world, even if I did come into it uninvitedly they didn't shun me out. I am eternally grateful. It was almost time for second period and nobody made a move to go back. That's okay, I am in no hurry to leave anyways, however unlike that is of me but lately things haven't been running their normal course so I have an excuse. And there was something I wanted to know really badly.

"Do Mikey or Gerard do...this?" I signaled around.

"Mikey doesn't, Gerard does." Frank said absentmindedly. I couldn't help but feel disappointed. I didn't know...But why? Why Gerard?