The Only Hope For Me Is You

Chapter 24

That "chat" with Izzy completely changed my perspective. It gave me a push, a drive, and a reason to stop moping around about my problems and do something about them. She has a point. I am a liar. But I will not let that label me for the rest of my life. And I will not let Andy get the coward out of me. It's time I stand up for myself. It's time I have a say in what happens in my life and not have it thrown at me.

Exiting the bathroom, I headed towards the cafeteria with determination. I will not give up without a fight, and I will not give up before I have my friends back at my side.

Right before opening the set of doors, I jumped around, shook my head, and punched the air. A couple of kids gave me weird looks as they passed by me. I inhaled deeply. I am not afraid! (Déjà vu, it feels like I’ve thought this before…)

As if the room fell under a spell, it became disalarmingly quiet when I went inside. It felt like every single eye was on me. I became self-conscious and fixed my hair. Suddenly I could hear people whispering.

I stared at the floor as I walked towards the table I used to be a part of. I could hear students whispering things like, “I heard she hasn't even kissed a boy."

"You mean, she's like a lesbo?"

"Not even, I heard she's into animals."

"What the fuck?"

"Who does she think she is? What, we're not even good enough to be looked at?"

And so on. The gossip wouldn't stop. It was like I was some exhibition to be judged and critiqued by. Do they not even know how much words hurt? Whoever said, “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me” was a nutcase.

Now I know Andy had made sure not to leave any room for a social life for me. He has made sure my life would be full of regret and pain for rejecting him, that I would go crawling back to him in forgiveness. (Yeah, as if, and I’m a secret wizard from Hogwarts. Yeah, right.)

I finally reached the table. This time, everyone was staring at me, as if they had expected me to show up. I stood awkwardly at the edge of the table unsure of how to continue. I looked up at their faces. I opened my mouth to say something but the sound would not come out. Sergio...Bob...Erika...Ray...Mikey...Frank...and....Gerard. As soon as our eyes connected, I was tongue-tied. Instead of an intelligent, coherent apology, all I managed to produce was this,"Hahba uh huuuhh." His eyebrows were furrowed up and his mouth was set in a grim line. I glanced at Frank and he expressed complete confusion.

After patiently waiting for an explanation for standing before them, they began turning their attention to their food and began ignoring me once again. Get a grip, Frannie. I thought you were done with this. Stop being so scared! Stand up for yourself!

I opened my mouth to begin again but I was interrupted by an arrogant, sniding voice. "Well, well, well. Look who finally showed up to school. What happened? Was the wittle girl afraid of the big, bad boy?" Andy teased. He showed up behind me with his buddies all around. There was no place to escape without facing one of his friends. Everyone at the table stood up.

"What do you want, Andy?" Frank said, crossing his arms. I realized this is the first time I'd seen him since he asked me to the dance. Surprisingly, he had a black eye and a bruise on his upper lip. It was fading but it was still noticeable nonetheless.

"Shut up, dwarf, or I might have to teach you a lesson on how to talk to your superiors." Andy jeered. The jocks guffawed along with him.

"We'll see who the superior one is when you're working for me, penis head." Frank said smoothly.