The Only Hope For Me Is You

Chapter 28

Frannie's POV

"I'm taking Izzy to the dance." The words echoed through my mind as if his voice was on repeat. I merely stood there with a blank look on my face unable to react. Gerard sighed with relief as if a huge load had been lifted off his shoulders. Well, that's all nice and well for you, but that load you just got rid of is now on my shoulders, I felt like telling him bitterly. I felt like grabbing someone's cup of coffee and pouring it over their head. 

Instead I blurted, "What's wrong with Erika? Why didn't you ask her?" I was mad with jealousy at this moment, so much I could run around naked.

"Huh?" he asked confused. "What do you mean?"

"Why didn't you ask Erika to the dance? Why did you ask Izzy?" I stated slowly. "Erika's a great girl. Do you think she's not pretty? Is it because Izzy is...." And then I realized I'm being the one thing I never wished to be: the jealous, possesive girlfriend. Who am I to tell him who to go with? He can do whatever the heck he wants. I don't need to be nagging him as if I controlled his every move and thought ...Woah, wait a second. I'm not his girlfriend. 

Gerard looked uncomfortable and shifted in his feet. Luckily for him, it was his turn to order coffee. I left him and then went to go sit with Mikey and Ray.

Why did I just give him any more reason to think I was jealous!? And after that wonderful moment a few seconds ago. It was all so perfect. And he had to ruin it by adding that monster to the picture. I'll admit it. I am jealous. Especially because of that red-headed, big feet monster Izzy. Even the name sounds hairy and menacing.

"Frannie? Are you okay?" Mikey asked me. I looked up in surprise and saw his worried expression.

"Yeah, why?" I said stubbornly. I slammed my hand on the tabletop. 

"Cause you've been glaring at the table ever since you sat down. Something wrong?" he asked. Ray chuckled but one icy look from me and he coughed and stopped.

"It's nothing." I sighed and placed my chin on the palm of my hand. Mikey and Ray shared a "Girl's" look and shrugged it off. Gerard came back with the coffee at that instant. 

"Yes, finally!" Ray said. He stood up, took the coffee, and gave one to each of us. Gerard walked off to give back the tray. I couldn't help but gape at him as he walked away. Why is this boy causing me to feel all these emotions again? Before meeting him I thought I'd forever remain bored with my life. But he had to fall in, like a stupid angel, and mess it all up for me. 

I noticed Mikey was staring at me staring at Gerard. I quickly looked away like a deer caught in headlights and acted "normal". I could tell he didn't buy it so I smiled. That seemed to make matters worse because as soon as I did, his eyes widened.

"Frannie?" Mikey called. 

I sipped my coffee and then answered as calmly as I could," Yes, Mikey?"

"Will you go with me outside for a sec? I think we left our thing in the car," he answered. Ray gave him a look that said, "What the heck?"

"Yeah, you know...that thing. The one we have to get." he said again as unconvincingly as the first time.

"What are you talking about?" I replied, confused.

"The thing." he said.

"What thing?"

"The thing."

"Mikey-"

"Let's just go outside." he said sternly.

I sighed, "Fine," And I stood up with my coffee in hand.

Gerard came back and looked at us suspiciously. "Where are you guys going?"

"Outside. We left our "thing" in the car," I said sarcastically. 

"Do you need the keys?" Gerard asked Mikey. 

"No," Mikey said and then dragged me outside.

We walked in silence for a few paces until I forced Mikey to face me. "Okay, Mikey. Explain. What's this all about? What "thing" did we leave in the car?" 

"There's something you're not telling me. You're hiding something from me," Mikey accused and immediately made me feel guilty. What wasn't I hiding from him! There are so many things I have yet to tell I couldn't know where to begin even if I did tell him. One short walk to the car and back isn't sufficient to open up my heart let alone cover the basic facts. But I have been meaning to open up to him. I do trust the first friend I made in New Jersey.

I stood in silence unsure of what to say. Mikey shook his head and said, "I thought we were closer than that. Aren't we friends? I'm sorry for not believing you about the Andy thing and all. I know it was a shitty way for me to act. Is that why you don't trust me?" 

'No, Mikey. Of course I trust you. It's not that at all. I just," I held his hand, "I just need you to trust me. I'm not keeping things from you on purpose, there just hasn't been an appropriate time to tell you. I do want to tell you. I do. But right now isn't enough. Today's too much of a happy day to ruin." I smiled softly. He gripped my hand tighter and nodded slowly. 

"Fine. But you will have to tell me sooner or later," he said with a mouth in a tight line.

"I will. I promise." I reassured, "I don't like keeping secrets from my best friend." At that Mikey hugged me.

"Thanks," he grinned, "Now will you tell me one thing, though? Why do you keep looking at my brother as if he were Brad Pitt?" My eyes widened in embarrassment and I squirmed in Mikey's fierce embrace.

"I don't know what you're talking about." I said muffled against jacket.

"Yeah, your smile says otherwise," he laughed, "Well, well. Frannie likes Gerard. Frannie likes my brother...You like my brother? Seriously?" He pushed me away gently in order to face me directly. I nodded grimly. Mikey laughed again.

"Now why is that so funny?" I flamed with embarrassment, "He's a likable guy. He's kind and fun and sweet...why is this so funny? Stop laughing."

"I'm sorry, but it's just hilarious. You guys have the same reaction. Did I tell you he liked you, too?" He said when he had enough breath. His eyes were wet.

"Really? He does?" I said in awe. "Wait, he already told me that. We already told each other. I'm a little in doubt, though. I think he may still have feelings for Izzy..."

At this, Mikey stopped laughing and looked at me seriously. "What makes you say that?"

"I can just tell...like the way you could tell that I had feelings for him. It's just there, in his eyes. I wish he didn't. He's taking her to the dance and everything."

"You're taking Frank, what's the difference?" he pondered philosophically. 

"The difference is Izzy hates me. And I don't blame her. She still has feelings for her old boyfriend. She's trying to win him back," I said grumpily. 

"How do you know Frank doesn't have feelings for you?" Mikey replied, not in a mean sort of way, but in the way one tries to reason and look for a solution.

"He doesn't."

"How do you know? Frannie, you're pretty. Don't sell yourself short. I think he likes you. Why else would he ask you to go to the dance with him?"

"To be nice! I'm new and he did it to save me the humiliation," I scoffed. He raised his eyebrows skeptically and shrugged. Frank couldn't like me. He just couldn't! It was impossible. It didn't make any sense. But thinking back, it really would explain some things. The way he bravely complimented me at his house, the fact that he asked me to the dance, and maybe that's the real reason Frank and Gerard were fighting. As vain as it sounds, maybe they were fighting...for me? Mama, slap me before I get a big head.

"Oh, Mikey, it hurts to be jealous. I hate this feeling." I said sadly.

"I understand. Trust me, I understand it a little too well." He put his arm around my shoulders and we continued to walk. "There's something I have to tell you...well, there's someone I have to tell you about..." And he told me all about the love of his life, the amazing Alicia Simmons. You know, the one with the butt.