Don't Hug Me I'm Scared One Shots

Gilbert x Colin

Colin has had a gigantic crush on Gilbert ever since...we'll ever since the first day they gained sentience. He really wanted to look cool, classy, and suave when he was around the globe, but Colin wasn't exactly what you would call a great charmer.
His method of flirting involved boasting, making fun of others, and occasionally trying to trap unsuspecting victims in his confusing (and terrifying) digital world. No matter what he would do to impress Gilbert, it always seemed to end the opposite of how he wanted it to.
Gilbert was just annoyed by Colin's presence in general. He didn't like how the computer would preach about how great he was. In Gilbert's eyes, the computer was too ethnocentric for his liking.
Unfortunately, Colin didn't know how to take any hints (one would wonder if any words made it through that thick head of his). Today, he was going to ask Gilbert on a date. Maybe then he could prove to the other male that he was absolute boyfriend material.
The tall, blue headed male confidently strode towards the brunette sitting on the couch.
Gilbert, twiddled his thumbs, choosing to ignore Colin's presence. He wasn't really in the mood for any more of Colin's ghetto scenes, or his long lectures of how smart he thought he was.
Colin just stood beside the couch, waiting for the right time to say the words.
Now
Now!
He pushed his black rimmed glasses up and rubbed the back of his neck, swallowing the huge lump in his throat. A queasy feeling washed over the man, as he thought about what he was about to do. Why was he so nervous? He wasn't afraid to talk to Gilbert after he had just tortured the tenants of this household, so why was he scared now?
"Can I help you?" Asked Gilbert, snapping Colin back to reality.
"U-Uh!" Colin stammered, trying to find the right words to say. It seemed so easy before this moment, but everything is easier said than done. The computer always had a great vocabulary of words to say, except for when he needed them.
Gilbert frowned, awaiting an answer from the frightened looking man in front of him.
Colin finally released a clump of words that Gilbert wasn't expecting to hear any time soon. "Um...so...s-some time, maybe, would you probably want to go...out...? Like, with me...?"
The brunette's eyes widened slightly, and he stared at Colin with a confused look on his face. "Colin...are you asking me on a date...?".
Colin liked him???
Of course that would explain all his failed attempts at flirting with him, but the fact still caught him by surprise.
The computer nodded, a faint blush tainting his cheeks. "Yes, you fuck ass, I'm asking you on a date," he spoke in a bashful, yet unimpressed tone.
Gilbert chuckled softly to himself, taking some time to think about his answer. Although Colin was without a doubt, sort of an asshole, he was curious to see what lengths He would go to try and impress him.
"I can't," Gilbert answered.
Colin's turquoise eyes grew wide, and he furrowed his brow, upset with the answer he had received.
"Wh...well why not?!?" He asked in a flustered fury.
Gilbert laughed at how disappointed Colin looked. "Because, you haven't given me a time, place, or date, asstown~"
Colin's face flushed and he pushed up his glasses, angry at himself because he basically stepped into that awkward baseball game of dialogue.
The computer decided on the important factors of their date, and Gilbert answered him with a flirtatious maybe.

~ ~ ~

The day had come, and Colin was already at their meeting place, ten minutes early. He ran his hand through his blue hair, and adjusted his black bow tie. He hadn't really dressed himself up for this date -he didn't want Gilbert to think he was trying to hard. He just wore his normal checkered sweater vest, and brown pants. He hoped that Gilbert wouldn't dress better than him. He didn't want to look like he didn't prepare at all.
The male glanced at his wrist watch; 6:19 pm! Gilbert was supposed to be here here almost 20 minutes ago. He didn't realize how much time had passed while he was sitting alone. He tried not to jump to conclusions. Maybe the globe was running late, or had lost track of time.
The wind blew by, and before he new it, it was 6:40 pm. Gilbert probably wasn't coming. Colin felt like such an idiot for getting his hopes up, and believing that he was actually going to show up.
He started to trudge back home with his head down, kicking small rocks angrily out of his path. Suddenly, he bumped into a short figure, and they let out a soft grunt. Looking down, he realized he had just bumped into his date.
His brown hair was tied in a messy pony tail, and he wore a brown jacket, with a white dress shirt, and a globe themed tie. He left his glasses at home, making his different coloured eyes stand out.
"Gilbert!" He exclaimed. "I'm sorry, I didn't see you there...!"
Gilbert huffed, and nodded, stepping back a bit. "Yeah, it's fine. You weren't going to ditch me, were you?"
Colin snickered, and started to lead the slightly shorter male down the path. He was quite proud of the place he had picked for them to visit. He thought for sure that Gilbert might like it. He didn't even care that he was 40 minutes late, he was just glad he was there by his side. He wouldn't stop smiling like the nerd he was.
"I think you'll really like where we're going to," Colin said to Gilbert.
The brunette chuckled "Oh really..?" He observed the colourful man walking next to him. This was one of the rare times where he wasn't angered with the computer's habits. He gave Colin the benefit of the doubt, hoping that on this date he would be less of an asshole.
The bliss only lasted for a couple moments, as already, Colin started to talk about himself. Gilbert knew it was too good to be true. Listening to Colin grew more tedious by the moment. He didn't even notice when, or why the computer got silent.
Colin stared down at Gilbert's empty hand. According to his sources (what he saw on the Internet) it was deemed appropriate to hold hands during a date. He gently brushed his hand against Gilbert's.
On impulse, Gilbert pulled away. Colin blushed, embarrassed by his actions. He shoved his hands in his pant pockets instead, picking up the pace of his walking.
Gilbert didn't notice how bad he made Colin feel, he could only pay attention to the awkward silence between them. He wasn't the only one dreading the lack of dialogue.
Colin walked out on the street, not paying attention to oncoming traffic.
"Colin, WATCH OUT!" Gilbert yelled, as he pushed him out of the way of the speeding red car.
As the computer landed on the pavement, the last thing he heard was the screech of rubber against ash-vault and the worried voices of spectators. His pale hands were shaking, and tears were brimming in his eyes. He was expecting one thing to go wrong on this date, but not something this terrifying!
His breathing was raspy, and he was too afraid to look back on the scene that had unfolded.
"Hey," the harsh voice cut his thoughts like paper. Colin turned around relieved to see Gilbert's blue skin, brown hair, and short, slim build still together in one piece. Gilbert lent the quivering  male a hand, and helped him up off the ground, leading him safely to the other side of the street.
"Pay attention to where you are going next time," he advised.
Colin nodded, still dazed from what just happened. "I'm sorry..." He mumbled.