Don't Hug Me I'm Scared One Shots

Weird DHMIS Headcannons

((School is really kicking my ass rn. Sorry for not updating. Anyways, have this. They're all pretty weird I thought them up in the shower and we all know what shower thoughts are like))

1. What they smell like ((oh boy here we go))
-Paige smells of school glue and crayons.
-Tony smells like expensive cologne sprayed generously over boiled fish.
-Shrignold always smells of freshly cut grass, or rain.
-Colin smells like windex. And not even the lemon scented one.
-Gilbert smells of books, and burnt wood.
-Steve smells like bEEF ((If you get the reference I am going to cry legitimate tears))
- Candice smells like a whole bottle of relish sprinkled with various different spices.
- Tanner (the bread) smells of home made bread and strawberries.
- Fred smells like milk.
- Roy smells like wet dog or the way your hand smells after holding coins for too long of gosh why would anyone
- Manny kind of smells like dry blood smothered in baby shampoo and no one knows why.
- Lucy smells of lotion and the stem part of a flower.
- Robin smells like a clean, but old blanket you just pulled out of your linen closet.
- Harry smells strongly of men's deodorant.

2. Things that calm them down
-For Paige, you would think it would be drawing, but no, it's actually watching the rain fall.
-Tony liked counting. Anything really. Buttons, coins, you name it, he'll count it.
-Shrignold chews on his antenna, even though they're really sensitive. You can see all the bite marks he's left on them if you look very closely.
- Colin likes it when people remind him what things he can do well, or areas he is strong in. Self absorbed asshole.
- Gilbert spells 'Tokyo" until he's okay. People think it's weird but he doesn't mind, because he knows it's weird.
-Steve likes to cook, even though he isn't really good at it.
-Nothing can calm Candice down. She is never calm. She doesn't have an inside voice.
-Tanner names things that he can see to calm himself down in a tough situation.
-Fred is always calm, it's weird to see him flustered or panicked.
-Roy...oh jeese, Roy.
-Manny really likes getting his hair played with, it's soothing to him.
- Do not tell Lucy to calm down. Just don't.
-Robin loves it when people read to him, especially if they have a nice, calm voice like Harry's or Tony's.
-Harry smokes when he's stressed, and he knows it's a bad habit, but he only cares if Manny or Robin see.

3. Hands ((aha, what?))
- Paige shakes your hand for to long, and her hands are always dirty. It's very likely that you will end up with a big blotch of paint on your hand afterwards. But, strangely enough her hands are soft.
- Tony has a firm grip. You don't really see his hands because he's always wearing gloves. The gloves are always spotless, it's actually sort of scary.
-Even though he wears the type of gloves that you wear to go beat someone up, and he has unearthly claws, he shakes your hand softly, aw, what a bby.
- Colin doesn't even have the decency to shake anyone's hand, but if you're lucky you might get a quick one. He wears gloves so you won't contact his skin.
- Gilbert is the only normal one omf he actually knows how to shake someone's hand. His hands are warm...
- Steve will rip off your arm so he will have the chance to have soft hands.
- Candice will also rip of your arm. Not for a reasons like Steve's, just for the sake of ripping off your arm. Hey, at least their hands are warm.
- Tanner is afraid of everyone he will not shake your hand.
- Fred's hands are big and squishy awe.
- Roy's hands are bony....
- Manny's hands are really small.
- So are Lucy's. She paints her nails a lot.
- Robin's hands are also small, and soft, he prolly uses lotion or something lmao
- Harry's hands are cold, and you can see the veins running through them.

4. Most noticeable feature.
-For Paige it's her hair, or her scarily pale skin. Almost casket pale...
-Tony's eyes are bright red.
-Shrignold's wings are the biggest and brightest thing on him.
- Colin has an interesting hair colour. It's blonde, with teal mixed in.
- Gilbert doesn't get noticed.
- Steve's feet are really big and Candice teases him about it.
- Green....green skin...Candice what?
- Tanner is really short. Shorter than Shrignold. Even shorter than Candice and Paige.
- Fred has a lot of acne despite being past the age where all that happens.
- Bald...Bald...BALD! Eh, Roy isn't that bald...
- Manny has big green eyes.
- Lucy's hair is really floofy, and pink.
- Robin has a nice a- I mean smile.
- Harry is very tall. Almost as tall as Tony.

5. Least noticeable feature
- No one notices that Paige actually has green eyes, even if she doesn't have her grey contacts in.
- Tony has a large scar across his face, and people don't really ask about it because he covers it with makeup, or a large bandaid. There are days where he doesn't feel like it though.
- Shrignold's freckles, golden glowing eyes, and long eye lashes...
- Colin's tongue is always blue and everyone thinks it's because he drinks too much kool  aid but it's actually because he's been sucking Gilbert's di-
- Gilbert has heterocromia in one eye.
-Steve always has bruises on his arms. I wonder what that's from...
- Candice's natural hair colour is brown, and you can see it in her roots but no one seems to notice.
- Tanner actually has green eyes, everyone thinks they're brown.
- Fred always has a bandaid on.
- Roy....oh goodness, Roy...
- Manny has lot of scabs and scrapes.
- Lucy always wears a blue necklace.
- Robin has freckles.
- Harry has white eye lashes on one eye.

((Enjoy my strange headcannons. You could suggest more weird headcannons you wanna hear if you'd like))