Saving Him {a Mithross fan fiction}

~Chapter One~

<Max's POV>
I drag the cool metal blade down my wrist five times.
1- for being in love with some one I can never have
2- for being in live with another male
3- for being a complete asshole to him
4- for not being good enough
5- for not hiding my feelings well
I do this every night. I punish myself for being in love with one of my roommates. Ross is the cutest person I have ever seen. I can't like him though. That's not how my parents raised me.
I look up at the mirror. I look terrible. My ginger hair is sticking up in different directions and there are tear stains in my cheeks. I look down at my bloody wrists. I clean up the bloody mess that I have created then put band aids on the fresh cuts.
I put on a long sleeved shirt and walk downstairs. I look down at the floor as I walk into the living room. I walk into something and fall in my butt. "Oh god. Max, are you okay? I'm so sorry I wasn't watching where I was going," the cute brunette says worriedly. I look up at him then weakly answer, "I-I'm fine."
I get up and sit on the couch. Ross sits next to me. We are so close. Our legs are just barely touching. I can't help it, I break down. I can't love my best friend. I just can't. He pulls me into a hug and holds me. I burry my head into the crook of his neck as I hug back.
"What's wrong?" he asks soothingly. I can't tell him the truth so I lie, "My mom is sick and I'm worried about her." He starts rubbing my back, calming me down a little bit. I squeeze my eyes shut and enjoy the peace. I press my lips to his neck ever so slightly. I feel him tense and I pull away from the hug. "Sorry," I mutter looking and my hands. "It's fine," I hear him say as he walks off.
I just ruined everything. God dammit it. All I do is ruin everything. I run back into the bathroom I was in minutes and get out the blade. I continue to drag the metal across my wrist over and over again. "Max. Are you okay?" I hear my other roommate, TimTim, say. I try to answer but my voice completely fails. I sit in the bathroom floor shaking. Tears blur my vision. All I see is red, and it's all around and on me. I start feeling dizzy. The room starts spinning. "Max! Answer me right now or else I'm forcing my way in!" my roommate yells. I try to stand up but my legs give way and I fall. I hear the door being kicked in then I see the blurry silhouette of Tim in front of me. "Ross. Call 911. Max is hurt!" is the last thing I hear before everything goes black.