Messages [Harry]

Bonus Chapter #10 - [100]

Winning chapter, as voted by the readers, chapter one-hundred!
Enjoy!

Unedited, it's like 1am, so forgive me? 

PLEASE READ LAST AUTHOR'S NOTE YOU BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE

I was not going to cry.

Smile for the cameras, Harry, I had to remind myself as we slowed down before some red lights. There were cameras flashing left, right and centre - on the bus, outside the bus -  and it would be obvious that there was something wrong if my glum expression were to be captured.

I could practically her Simon's voice in my head; Good press, boys. That's what we want. Nothing bad.

And so I smiled. Smiled for my family's sake, for the boys', for Simon and Jesus Christ, for her. I smiled for Amanda.

I smiled, not because of our conversation earlier, but because of how much I loved, and would always love her. She said what she had, for my sake. To know that somebody loved you so much as to put something so real and true on hold was a sacrifice. At least it was for me to agree with and judging by the wavering in Amanda's voice, she had felt the exact same way.

I knew she was right - when wasn't she? I chuckled quietly to myself as the bus jerked forward. The rickety motion was making me a little queasy, but that could also have been the fact that my girlfriend and I had just kind of split up...

I continuously tapped my fingers against the black screen of my phone. I'd turned it off. I knew that if we spoke more on the way to Zayn's, I would have arrived in a sobbing mess. The best solution was to switch my mobile off. And also breathe slow. Deep breaths, and think of the good times.

"You OK?" Niall asked me. The chatter on the bus had died down a little. "You're awfully quiet."

I just shrugged slowly and told him, "Don't make a big deal out of it, but I think Amanda just broke up with me."

Just saying it aloud made my heart ache.

Niall didn't say anything to begin with, almost like he were the one in shock and screaming on the inside. I was surprised when he clapped a hand on my shoulder and gave me a strained smile. "It's alright, mate. I'm sure it wasn't because of anything you did."

"Kind of was," I began. "Being in and out of contact snapped something within her. When we were at Cheshire earlier, she told me that it would be best if we don't see each other anymore because of, well ... this."

Niall nodded like he understood. "I get you. She's putting you first then?"

I just nodded pathetically. It's all I could do. "Yeah. She wants me to focus on my career and she thinks she's going to get in the way. Niall, what do you think? I mean, about her choice? I didn't properly listen to her because I was so upset - hell, I still am. But what do you honestly think?"