Trepidation [completed]

THIRTY-ONE| middle of the year, 2077

-

Danny and I have been living in Granary for three years now. We're adults now have been for years with being the age of twenty-two. The house is all fixed up and perfect. I've became okay with the maids dressing me. I've become used to the servers and the cooks. Unfortunately, I'm in Thailand waiting for my plane to arrive to go home to Granary. I'm very tired and actually very hungry. In Thailand, everything is so beautiful. The penthouse I stayed in for the three days was breathtaking. I'm not exactly sure what I ate, but it was so delicious, I could eat it every day.

​My job is harder than Danny made it out to be. Yes, I have to answer phone calls for Granary. But not only that, I have to do interviews and appearances for meetings with the new America, and phone calls are twenty-four seven is what it feels like. I'm always fucking busy! Danny is the face of Granary and the new America while I'm the behind-the-scenes. I don't talk about myself, I've never released information about myself other than I'm Lucas Tomlinson little brother.

​I've called Dad only a couple times in the past years. I'm too busy to visit. But, he's found some friends now and I'm very happy for him. He is always out with his friends and having fun. At least he was the last time I talked to him. I still haven't told him about me being gay but I will eventually. I just have to find the right time. On the topic of family, Lucas and Ruth split up. Well, they were never together, but Ruth married this man named Chasten Jenkins, and he's a famous fashion designer from Gated London. He moved here and they live in what was Lucas's Inca. Lucas, on the other hand, primarily lived in the new America, we call it Equity. I haven't spoken to him since the last time he was at Granary years ago.

​I've invited Harry over a couple of times since he hasn't been doing anything. Yes, we're talking again. He never gave me a reason why he ignored me for nearly a year other than he's having a hard time coping with being alone. He's having a really hard time, so I make sure to talk to him at least twice a week. He doesn't want to kill himself, but he wants fate to kill him. I've been told that he walks in front of moving trains and highway traffic. He tests the police officers to a point where he could get killed. But yet, he never does! He's been to prison twice. He stayed for a month and a half once and just a week the other time. I've bailed him out both times.

​I hear Perrie got pregnant last year with her third child, and she's only twenty. I hear she's still upset about Zayn. You haven't heard? Zayn broke up with her during their senior year after the college graduation. It was pretty pathetic, really. They won king and queen of the school, then he broke up with her. But I don't blame him. Zayn dates this new girl now, her name is Gigi. I don't like her, but I didn't like Perrie either. I hear that Zayn is the father of the first child which Perrie had at her last year at JAPU. I had no clue about that until recently, I'm always left out of the loop. Zayn never goes to see the child from what I hear. I hear he lives in community London with his girlfriend Gigi. She's a real bitch, is what Danny tells me. Meaning she's probably nice.

Perrie moved back to wherever she came from. I hear she's dating Nick, Zayn's cousin, which is sort of hilarious. I know Perrie is probably upset that her three kids all have different fathers, but it's her fucking fault for whoring around. Her first child from Zayn, second from some guy at college, and third with Nick. I guess karma was a real fucking bitch to her. I hear all this from Danny, so I can't trust every single thing I'm hearing.

​Speaking of Danny, she isn't here right now. She is out, like always. Probably at a pub or a meeting, or maybe she's even at home. She's always somewhere and I never know where. I'm happy that I'm living with my best friend and having fun. But I still fantasize about living with Harry back in the UK. He's having such a hard time and he needs me but I'm not there for him.

"Sir, your plane will be here in a half hour," said my server, Titus.

"Thank you," I said.

​I got up from the recliner that I've found much joy in and went up into my room in Thailand. I watched the maids as they packed my bags. They ask me questions if this is alright or this is fine. I answered with a yes or a no, or a move this here or move this there. They've become really good friends with me, but still refuse to call me Louis. I went back downstairs and waited until I was given instructions.

This is what my world has turned into. Everything I do is dedicated to Harry Styles. His brother, Niall was my first love and what I thought would be my only. I fail to even find love now since Harry refuses to let me in. No matter where I travel and no matter what dates I go on, no one compares to Niall other than Harry, and he doesn't want to even live anymore.

"You're going to have to get over him and just find someone to love if you ever want love," Danny would say.

​I always agreed with her, but never once has anything happened. My thoughts were interrupted by the sound of footsteps making their way towards me.

"Sir, we have to go over notes for your first questioning," said Titus.

"Yes?"

"You will be doing a questioning with Miss. Cowell. She will guide you through it," said Titus

​I quit listening to him. If I'm with Danny, she got the entire questioning to herself. I don't get questioned for stories. I'm just an advocate for Granary and sometimes Equity. Danny's life has been published whilst mines stay private. No one knows anything about me other than my name is Louis Tomlinson and my brother is Lucas. No one knows where I'm from or what I've been through. My plane arrived and I walked out ignoring all the fans wanting pictures with me. I got onto the plane and it took off without warning. Finally, I'm going to what I call home.