Crash

36: I hate winter

Another two weeks....

Lyra-

Oh my fuck. I hate winter and I hate it here. I've been stuck in this cave for so damn long and it's drafty as hell. I was so fucking done.

Nathan is my bonus. He and Baine keep me sane but I don't know how much longer I can take this. It's cabin fever, I know. Its driving me crazy. 

I clawed my way out of the soft snow by the door and stepped onto the hard, slippery top. I was looking down on my door, that's how much snow there was. Nathan was gone checking traps and Baine followed him because he's sick of this place too. Now he likes to sleep outside the door sometimes. I think he gets too hot in the cave with his thick fur and all.

I grumbled and let my axe trail behind me. I was this close to having a nervous breakdown. This is too much routine, day after day drag. Mark the moon, watch the stars, pray the fucking snow melts. Dies. I was doing this day after day and I couldn't stand it. 

I came to a small, dead tree by the very edge and stepped carefully because the snow wasn't as hard here. I started chopping at the truck with curses coming out of my mouth like a second language.

Sweat ran down the back of my neck and my hands were numb from the cold, even with the gloves on.

I yelped as the snow under me gave way and put me up to my boobs in snow.

"Are you fucking kidding me?!" I screeched and kicked at the snow, pulling my ass up and out.

Now I just felt like beating the shit out of something. The closest thing was the poor, poor tree.I yelled my lungs out and slashed at the tree with my axe.

I missed my dad to no end. I missed my bed. I missed mac n' cheese. I wanted a washer and dryer and a real hot shower. I was so stressed out because at any time, any time at all, there could be an avalanche that could bury all of our asses fifty feet under. I wanted hot chocolat and Christmas music. now was in the back of my collar and packed around my neck. 

I needed to get out of here and get home, I had to get Nathan home. He had a whole family waiting on him. My dad was the only person who cared and I could deal with the guilt of having just one person worry for me, but a whole family? They would all be counting on me to get Nate home if they knew he was with me. 

I wailed on the poor tree, screaming and yelling my frustrations at it. I'm not sure how long I was doing that but I felt a pair of arms wrap across my chest, pinning my arms down.

"Hey!" I cried, thrashing a little.

"Put the axe down," Nathan said calmly behind me.

"I'm mad, not insane Nathan," I growled in annoyance, wiggling around.

"Drop it."

I huffed and tossed it to the side. Nathan turned me around and held me at arms length.

"What's wrong? I thought something was attacking you. Are you okay?" he asked and chuckled nervously.

You know when you think you're fine and you get calmed down but then someone asks 'are you alright?' And you just shatter. Yeah that's me.

"Yes," I squeaked out before I felt hot tears rolling down my cheeks, "I f-fine-....no."

I thought Nathan would laugh and call me such a typical girl. But instead he engulfed me in a big hug. I cried into his shoulder and felt my legs become completely useless. Nathan let me ease down to the snow but never let me go.